My Bloody Valentine: The 10 Most Calamitous Dates In Horror Movies

As the saying goes, love hurts. In horror movies, heartbreak can have both physical and emotional consequences, and the results can be a bloody mess. Often, characters in these films realize their dates or love interests aren’t who they claim to be, and the lies go far beyond the normal ones people tell to impress their crushes.

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The bad dates on this list have a lot of skeletons in their closets. In fact, some literally have closets full of skeletons. The next time your date refuses to split the bill or tells an inappropriate joke, be grateful that, unlike the poor souls in this article, you haven’t been lured into a plot of murder, supernatural mayhem, or torture.

10 It Follows (2014)

When college student Jay starts dating Hugh, she thinks she’s met a cute, charming man who likes old movie theatres and classic cars. Hugh’s true intentions are exposed when Jay wakes up tied to a wheelchair in an abandoned factory after sleeping with him. Hugh seduces Jay because he is cursed by a slow-moving entity that follows him wherever he goes. If it catches up to him, he will die.

The only way he can end the curse is to pass it on to someone else by sleeping with them. Unfortunately for Jay, it’s now her turn to fend off the creature. Hugh’s own sexual predations toward Jay mirror the evil nature of the entity that spreads from teen to teen like an STD in It Follows.

9 Carrie (1976)

In this classic adaption of Stephen King’s novel, Sissy Spacek plays the sheltered title character. Between her overbearing mother, the peers who bully her, the onset of her menstrual cycle, and her new-found telekinetic powers, Carrie is having a rough go at life.

When Carrie’s crush Tommy asks her to prom, the dark cloud overhead dissipates. Unfortunately, it turns out Tommy only asked Carrie to the dance at the behest of his girlfriend Sue, who feels bad for Carrie. Things really take a turn for the worse when a bucket of pig’s blood falls on Carrie’s head after she’s crowned Prom Queen. Tommy’s fake pity, in the end, only infuriates the abused Carrie more.

8 Audition (1999)

One of the goriest horror films ever made, Audition is not for people who get queasy at the sight of blood or other bodily fluids. The ill-fated date at the center of the film involves widower Shigeharu Aoyama, a film producer, and an enchanting woman named Asami Yamazaki.

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Despite some serious red flags, Aoyama continues to pursue Yamazaki because of her beauty and emotional depth. Lovestruck, Aoyama becomes oblivious to Yamazaki’s strange behaviors and elusive past until it’s too late. He becomes stuck in her spider’s web, and the film ends with one of the most gruesome torture sequences in cinematic history.

7 Spring (2014)

Indie horror icons Aaron Moorhead and Justin Benson are behind this strange love story about an American ex-pat in Italy who falls for a 2,000-year-old mutant. Lou Taylor Pucci’s character Evan meets the stunning and exciting Louise, and the two engage in a poetic, romantic affair.

Unfortunately for Evan, Louise is only with him to get pregnant. Part of her mutation involves using the embryo inside her to recreate herself, which she does in 20-year cycles. In the meantime, Louise transforms into various strange creatures and engages in the werewolf-like hunting of humans and animals. Eventually, Evan decides to stick around for the ride, and they are able to establish a dynamic on their own terms, one that will come to a sudden halt when Louise is regenerated on the spring equinox.

6 The Loved Ones (2009)

Brent rejects his classmate Lola’s invitation to be his date at an upcoming school dance, and the aftermath turns out to be dreadful. An Australian feature, The Loved Ones follows Lola and her father, who she likes to call Daddy, as they kidnap and torture Brent in a remote cabin. It turns out Lola won’t take no for an answer, and she’s going to have her dance no matter what.

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Lola and Daddy dole out abuse after abuse while bragging about all the other young men they’ve tortured together. Brent must fight for life by fending off knives, hammers, drills, and various other implements.

5 Darling (2016)

This psychological black-and-white film focuses on a young woman, known only as Darling, who gets a new job taking care of an old mansion in New York City. After discovering an inverted cross necklace in a drawer, hearing strange noises coming from a part of the home she’s forbidden to enter, and then finding Latin proverbs summoning Hell scrolled on an outside balcony, Darling loses her groundedness in reality.

Things come to a head when she bumps into a man on the street and has a panic attack. She follows the man afterward, eventually seducing him at a bar. She invites him back to the mansion within 10 minutes of their conversation, and he agrees to join her. It doesn’t end well for the man, who should have thought twice about saying yes to a woman he has known for less than an hour.

4 Get Out (2017)

The consequences of Chris’s choice to spend the weekend visiting his white girlfriend’s family in rural New York are explored with ferocity and social potency in Jordan Peele’s Get Out. Chris’s anxiety over meeting the Armitages transforms into absolute fear once he realizes he’s been lured into a scheme among wealthy whites that involves the literal exploitation of black bodies.

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Alison Williams plays Chris’s attractive and smiley girlfriend Rose, a woman who seems completely innocuous at first. Chris comes to realize it’s all an act, though, and Rose, along with her family, represents the subtle racism that quickly festoons into widespread discrimination and violence.

3 Teeth (2007)

Teeth digs into the kinds of misogyny and violence women must contend with in the world. Dawn is attempting to come to terms with her budding sexuality, and when she goes on a date with Tobey, who she meets at an outing hosted by a Christian abstinence group, Tobey assaults her. While defending herself, Dawn learns something scary about her body: her privates have teeth.

After Dawn’s body literally bites off Tobey’s genitals, she flees. Dawn comes to realize that her teeth aren’t engaged when she’s comfortable and relaxed with a partner. In the following weeks, though, she continues to have encounters with men that are invasive and exploitative, and her body acts out in self-defense each time. Talk about a litmus test for separating the good from the evil.

2 You’re Next (2011)

Adam Wingard’s unique take on the final girl slasher trope, You’re Next is rooted in the relationship between Crispin and his girlfriend Erin. They have been invited to celebrate the wedding anniversary of Crispin’s parents at a country manor. Things seem pretty normal until a crossbow enters the dining room from an outside window, unleashing an assault against the family.

The home invasion turns into genocide, and Erin comes to realize Crispin and his siblings conceived of the plot in order to get their parents’ inheritance. Leaving Erin in the crossfire, an unrepentant Crispin soon gets a taste of his own medicine.

1 Scream (1996)

The archetypal worst boyfriend in horror, the murderous Billy Loomis turns out to be the thorn in Sidney Prescott’s side. Not only is he responsible for the murder of Sidney’s mother, but he’s worked out a plan with his best friend Stu to stalk and slash folks in town while wearing a scream mask and black cape.

While emotionally manipulating his distraught girlfriend, Billy is also killing everyone around her. Why? Just for the fun of it, it seems. Fortunately, Sidney is a fighter, and she won’t let herself become another nameless victim in a horror movie.

NEXT: Top 10 Horror Movies That Never Got Sequels

2020-02-13 03:02:08

Megan Summers

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