Gilmore Girls: 10 Best Jess Quotes

Jess Mariano (Milo Ventimiglia) was the Gilmore Girls version of the notorious bad boy: dark looks, surly attitude, the-world-can-bite-me outlook, and sarcastic charm. He was Rory’s (Alexis Bledel) second boyfriend, and the only boyfriend that shared many of the same interests as she did – most importantly, their love of books. When he first came to town to live with his Uncle Luke (Scott Patterson), the Stars Hollow residents immediately detested the outsider, especially when he went out with Rory. Yet, as the seasons passed, Jess grew up and really made something of himself. Along the way, however, he’s made memorable remarks that reflect his personality (and remind us why we love Jess). Here are ten of Jess’s best quotes!

RELATED: Gilmore Girls: Lorelai’s Boyfriends, Ranked

10 I think I hung my Tool T-Shirt…

You know, I think I hung my Tool T-Shirt next to my Metallica T-Shirt and they don’t really get along.

Jess’s arrival in Season 2 started off with a bang. He was somewhat pensive and had an angry vibe. When he mentions his T-shirt fiasco, it’s to avoid talking to his mother. It’s clear Jess has a complicated family life and resents being sent to Stars Hollow, but this humorous excuse is memorable as part of the introduction to Jess’s personality and sarcastic out-of-the-box thinking when it comes to excuses. In any case, it’s clear Jess is the typical bad boy from the attitude to the cigarettes to the way he loathes Stars Hollow – until he meets Rory.

9 Basket. Basket-maker…

Basket. Basket-maker. Guy who didn’t bring enough money.

Jess and Dean’s (Jared Padalecki) rivalry was the love triangle of Gilmore Girls. In “A-Tisket, A-Tasket”, Jess outbids Dean for Rory’s picnic basket, and by Stars Hollow tradition, earns Rory’s basket and her company in exchange. Dean, furious, pleads with Rory not to go but she does anyway.

RELATED: Gilmore Girls Couples, Ranked From Worst To Best

In this episode we see Jess is ready to battle Dean for Rory’s affections, and succeeds in connecting with her, the episode ending with Rory calling Jess and the two falling into easy conversation. If anything, this was the episode that launched the will-they or won’t-they chemistry between Jess and Rory. Mission accomplished, Jess.

8 It’s a crazy world we live in.

Jess has the ability to capture what we feel in certain moments in a succinct manner. While this was his response to Rory who was upset at the idea of being the poster girl for censorship at Stars Hollow’s version of a Blockbuster, it can be applied to just about anything in our lives. From what’s acceptable to the outraged feelings we get while stuck in traffic or when our favorite restaurant is out of our favorite dish for the day. Whatever the reason, we fall back to Jess’s simple “it’s a crazy world we live in.”

7 Think how dull your life would be without me.

Jess was right. Gilmore Girls, let alone Rory’s life, would have been dull without Jess. Jess added a new energy to the show, and an element of danger and mystery to Rory’s life, opening her eyes to new experiences and ideas both good and bad.

RELATED: 8 Pop Culture References On Gilmore Girls You Might Have Missed

Jess changed Rory’s life and is part of the reason Rory became who she is. If Jess had never existed, Rory never would have done things like skipping school or dating someone her mother didn’t approve of. Then again, if not for Jess, she never would’ve gone back to Yale and fulfilled her dreams, either.

6 I’m sorry. I thought this was the uniform.

Who could forget Jess making fun of Luke with the flannel shirt and backwards hat combo? When Luke admonishes Jess’s choice of attire (a graphic Metallica shirt), Jess later makes a point of making fun of his uncle, much to our amusement. This happened at the beginning of Jess and Luke getting to know one another, showing us a fun, sarcastic kind of relationship between the two that eventually grows into a meaningful bond over the course of the series. It’s rare that we ever see Luke without flannel or a backwards hat, so Jess probably does have a point.

5 I don’t want to talk to anybody else…

I don’t want to talk to anybody else. I don’t like anybody else.

Jess totally gets us all with this quote. We’ve all been in that situation where you’re at a party or some other kind of social gathering, and you don’t feel like mingling, so you stick to your person or small group.

RELATED: Gilmore Girls: 20 Things That Make No Sense About Rory

Jess was having a bad night in this particular episode, but this quote was actually quite thoughtful. After all, he’s telling Rory how much she means to him (in his own way, of course). For us viewers, we know how that night goes down. Nonetheless, this quote is honest. And we’ll probably use it at some point in our lives to escape awkward or downright painful situations.

4 I love you.

All fans remember the moment. Jess is back in town; he chases Rory down to tell her one thing: he loves her. The sad truth is, it’s too late. Even worse? Jess drives away before a shocked-into-silence Rory can respond. While the two have a complicated history and remained friends, it’s clear the feelings still exist. Should there be another Gilmore Girls revival, maybe Jess and Rory could end up together. You never know. It always seemed like something there was unfinished.

3 I was just walking by…

I was just walking by and the thing came out of nowhere and bam! Beaked me right in the eye.

No one had heard “beaked” as a verb until Jess described the unfortunate source of his black eye. The black eye is blown completely out of proportion when Rory believes Jess got into a fight with Dean, which results in a fight between her and Jess instead.

RELATED: 20 Things Lorelai and Rory Did Between Gilmore Girls And A Year In The Life

They make up, but the funny thing is Jess only tells Luke the real reason why he’s sporting a black eye, too embarrassed to tell Rory or anyone else. This is also one of Jess’s funniest moments; he may be rebellious and cool, but even he’s not immune to violent run-ins with a swan.

2 I want to be good…

I want to be good. Life’s just not letting me.

This could probably be Jess’s life motto, even if he was saying it sarcastically. It’s no secret Jess came from a troubled family background and experienced anger and resentment to varying degrees, resulting in his bad boy tendencies and teenage rebellion. Jess allowed his experiences and background to hold him back; that is, until Rory pushed him and convinced him that he could do and become more. Thankfully Jess took the advice and encouragement; he outgrew his setbacks and showed life that he could be good without its permission.

1 You should write a book.

Okay, this might not be one of Jess’s most memorable quotes, but it’s certainly one of the most meaningful. He’s always there for Rory when she needs him the most. She’s lost and dropped out of Yale? Jess convinces her to go back and fulfill her dreams. In the revival, Rory’s landed in a rut and doesn’t know what to do next. It’s Jess who gives her the idea to write a book about her life with her mother. Jess turns out to be pretty good at giving advice, and even better at getting Rory back on track when she’s gone off her path. In a way, Jess is a navigator, guiding Rory at different times in her life.

Jess is certainly one of our favorite characters. From his quotes to his antics (remember the outline he drew of the fake dead body as a prank?), Jess certainly left his mark in the Gilmore Girls universe in both the original and the revival. So yeah, he was defiant and rebellious, but also sincere and profound in his own way. He grew up a lot over the course of the series, learning the hard way but turning his mistakes around and creating a life and various successes for himself. Though of course, he hasn’t lost his sarcasm, wit or bad boy charm.

NEXT: Guest Stars On Gilmore Girls, Ranked

2019-04-13 01:04:15

Kacie Lillejord

10 Best Avengers: Infinity War Quotes

Avengers: Infinity War was an emotional rollercoaster of a movie with some hilarious moments and some extremely traumatic ones for fans. With so many emotional and funny scenes in the movie, the film is full of some memorable quotes. As Avengers: Endgame comes out this month, it’s the ideal time to reflect back on Infinity War and some of the iconic scenes from the film.

We’ve collected 10 of the best Infinity War quotes from poignant moments to ones that made audiences laugh out loud.

RELATED: 10 Incredible Worlds In The Marvel Comics MCU Has Yet To Explore


Loki fans were devastated when the character died before the title credit to the movie even appeared. Whether or not Loki is really dead is still up in the air, but the character will be coming back for a television series on Disney+ much to fans’ delight.

This quote is one that Loki says to Thor, and this moment gives many fans hope. The quote is likely Loki trying to signal some sort of message to Thor that things will be alright.


When Wakanda teams up with some of the Avengers to help fight against Thanos, Okoye has a few thoughts about this. In this hilarious quote, she tells T’Challa that she was looking forward to having the Olympics and Starbucks, not to fighting aliens.

Okoye didn’t have a lot of scenes in this movie, but the ones she did have were pretty badass. Whether she’s saying hilarious lines or kicking alien butt, she’s definitely a much-needed addition to the team of heroes.


This adorable moment was one that many fans loved. Captain America is a pretty serious person all around, and he is also very earnest.

RELATED: 10 LGBTQ Marvel Heroes That Deserve Their Own Movie

When Groot says hello, or whatever he actually says after Thor introduces him, Steve doesn’t even think twice about the fact that Groot is a tree. Instead, he politely introduces himself, and the interaction was one that fans definitely couldn’t get enough of.


Tony Stark is known for his snark and wit, and, despite the intensity of what was happening in this movie, he had no shortage of witty one-liners. This is one of his funniest lines from the film, especially since Corvus really does look like Squidward.

RELATED: 10 Inspiring Quotes From Tony Stark

Iron Man is great at including pop culture references in his insults, and this is one of the best examples. With other great lines such as “you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards” and more, it’s hard to pick just one funny Stark moment from Infinity War.


While many of the quotes on this list have been funny, there were also many memorable lines that are more serious. Doctor Strange says this to Iron Man when Thanos gets the best of them and everything is about to go really bad as people begin to turn to dust.

The quote is also a clever reference to the title of Avengers: Endgame, even though most people didn’t realize that at the time. This quote also seems to be a nod to the fact that things for the MCU are about to shift and end in some major ways.


The Guardians of the Galaxy movies are known for their humor and more light-hearted feel. However, Infinity War was one of the most dark and dire movies in the MCU so far.

RELATED: 8 Ways The MCU Has Forever Changed Cinema

Adding the Guardians into a more somber film meant that they still had a lot of time to stand out with their naivety and funny lines. Mantis is a mostly innocent character who is also very powerful. With this quote, she is trying to be hardcore but messes up the popular saying in a really sweet and funny way.


In Infinity War, Steve Rogers is a fugitive from the law and has been spending his time off the radar in Wakanda or off on missions with Falcon and Black Widow. However, of course, when the world really needs him again, he shows up to help.

RELATED: 10 Inspiring Quotes From Captain America

With Iron Man gone, Steve isn’t here to mess around, and he showed he doesn’t really care about playing nice anymore. He cares about fighting and saving people and doing what has to be done. This version of Captain America is very different than how he was earlier on in the MCU and shows what he has been through and how he has changed.


Thor gives some wise insight into how difficult it can be dealing with family dynamics. While the MCU might be filled with heroes and aliens, there are still moments that many of us can relate, too, and this is a good example of that.

Thor is talking to Gamora and comforting her over the fact that Thanos is her adopted father. He shows his compassionate side here and does so in his characteristic sweet and hilarious way.


Black Panther is an inspiring and powerful character in the MCU, but he, unfortunately, had some moments in Infinity War where he unknowingly foreshadowed bad things to come.

He says this line as he is helping Okoye up and just before he dies from the Thanos snap. This was a rather surprising moment for fans considering that T’Challa had just been introduced in the MCU.


This might be one of the worst quotes on this list as it’s definitely one of the saddest. However, it’s one of the most memorable and quoted lines from the movie, and it’s the perfect example of how much the Avengers have lost going into Endgame.

Peter Parker is such a lovable and earnest character, and seeing him go to dust in front of Iron Man in such a traumatic way was difficult for most fans.

NEXT: 10 Most Memorable Quotes From Tom Holland’s Spider-Man

2019-04-12 01:04:08

Amanda Steele

10 Best Abbi Jacobson Quotes From Broad City

Broad City might be over, but the quotes and iconic moments from the show will live on in pop culture for many years to come. The series did a fantastic job of capturing a millennial experience, especially what it’s like to be in your early 20s’ while living in a big city and trying to figure out how to navigate through life. Broad City was also celebrated for its portrayal of a close female friendship. Abbi and Ilana where the heart of the show and their friendship got them through all of the ups and downs of their lives.

While Ilana might be the more over the top character, Abbi was really funny and relatable, too. We’ve collected a list of ten of the best Abbi Jacobson quotes from Broad City.


The truly great thing about Broad City was how loyal the two women were to each other. They clearly had each other’s backs through thick and thin and weren’t afraid to help each other out no matter what. With this quote in season one, Abbi tells Ilana that she would carry her through hell. That’s the kind of friendship that most of us want to have.


One of the best things about Abbi’s character was how damn relatable she was. She was definitely someone that millennials in their 20s’ could understand and laugh along with.

RELATED: 10 Funniest Shows On TV Right Now

From her struggles with Bevers to her crappy job at Soulstice, her mishaps were super easy to empathize with. With this quote, Abbi shows that adulthood can be really hard, and sometimes to make yourself feel better you just have to let the childlike part of you win out.


While Ilana might be the Broad City woman that’s more loud and ridiculous, Abbi’s humor is strong and tends to be more grounded and a little off-beat. She often comes up with random connections and things to say, and the results are quite hilarious. In this episode where the two of them get stuck on a subway car, she delivers this hilarious line.


Being an adult in your 20s’ can be difficult, and Broad City showed this time and time again. If you’re trying to make it in New York City especially, finding a job that makes enough money and trying to be a responsible adult can be especially hard. With this quote, Abbi shares a feeling that many of us have at the end of the day.

RELATED: 10 Best TV Comedy Shows Featuring A Female Lead (On Air Right Now)

While going out and partying can be fun, catching up on your favorite television shows is often better.


This is one of Abbi’s funniest lines from the first season of the show. While buying pot might not always be a sign of maturity, in the world of Ilana and Abbi it is. While Abbi isn’t too successful in her quest to find her own pot to buy, she won’t ever have to worry too much. Ilana will always have a steady supply of pot to give her whenever she needs it.


Poor Abbi had to put up with a lot when she worked as a cleaner at Soulstice.

RELATED: 10 Jim Halpert Quotes That Show Why He Was A Heartthrob

While in later seasons she moved on to bigger and better things, for many seasons of the series she was stuck cleaning up messes and being treated badly by Trey as she strived to be a trainer. With this line, she tries to make a sick burn but instead just says something that would make anyone cringe as well as laugh.


Sometimes, Abbi says some things that really make you think. This is kind of a dark humor line that makes all the millennials really think. While the thought is definitely sad, it’s also rather funny. Abbi can be super funny at times, and while she is more serious and responsible, she’s definitely not a stick in the mud. In some ways, she is the more stable of the two and lends the perfect balance to Ilana.


Abbi definitely struggles the more of the two to feel like she has her life together. Ilana is more of a go with the flow, fly off the seat of your pants person, while Abbi likes to have her ducks in a row.

RELATED: The Office: 10 Best Pam Beesly Quotes

But, just like many people who try their best to get a handle on their life, she often found herself wondering why things wouldn’t turn out right.


Abbi sometimes dares to dream big, like she speculates on an amazing world where Disney World is even grander than it already is. Something about her brand of humor and the way she expresses her thoughts hits on something about the young 20s’ experience that is hard to articulate but comes across perfectly in her dialogue.


One of the most delightful moments for Ilana was when she found out that when Abbi became blackout drunk she became Val and put on a show at a speakeasy. With this inspiring quote, Abbi is putting on that Val persona and sweeping Ilana even more off her feet in the process. While Abbi might seem like the more chill of the two, she definitely has her secrets and her wild side.

NEXT: The Office: 10 of the Best Dwight Schrute Quotes

2019-04-08 09:04:09

Amanda Steele

10 Most Iconic Quotes From the Girls of Broad City

Broad City brought a distinct hilarious, feminist, and very millennial vibe that was cutting-edge. With two hilarious female leads and a focus on friendship between women, Broad City was much needed. The show has ended now, with its final episode airing last week, but it leads the way for many more shows in the future that tell relatable, funny, and diverse stories. While many fans are understandably pretty sad that the show is over, the humor and many memorable moments of the show will be enjoyed over and over again for years.

RELATED: 10 Hilarious Dumbledore Quotes

One of the best things about the show is all of the iconic quotes and memes to come out of it. Here are 10 of the most iconic quotes from Ilana and Abbi.


Ilana was definitely a scene stealer in many ways, but the balance between the two women is what made the show work so well. Ilana doesn’t have much of a filter and doesn’t hold much back. She’s unapologetic about her sexuality, lifestyle, and bodily functions. Ilana Wexler was very casual and comfortable with her queerness, and she shows this throughout the show in many small moments and lines. This quote also is a good example of all of the cultural and celebrity references that were made.


While Ilana definitely did not originate this quote, she used it a lot. Ilana using this quote so much definitely helped get the phrase into the mainstream, and people everywhere have been using, and maybe overusing it ever since.

RELATED: 10 Funniest Shows On TV Right Now

Ilana loved to be over the top and feel her oats, and this is something that many fans could relate to.


One of the things that made Broad City so successful was how well it captured the feeling of being a millennial, especially a millennial in a big city. The dialogue between Ilana and Abbi, as well as others in the show, was often the kind of conversations fans were also having with their friends. Ilana is all about being fierce, so of course, Rihanna is one of her icons. So many of Ilana’s quotes are definitely lines that can be used to inspire your own lifestyle.


While Ilana might be a little flashier and more over the top, Abbi had a lot of funny moments as well. She’s a little more grounded and practical, which makes her a good balance for Ilana. Abbi is more put together, something that many fans could also relate to. She has her messy moments and her hilarious mishaps. She’s also a great friend. The loyalty Ilana and Abbi have for each other is inspiring, and Abbi shows here that she would go through hell to save her best friend.


This is another one of Ilana’s famous lines from the show. While Abbi didn’t get what Ilana was saying, Ilana was definitely feeling herself in this scene. While Ilana might try to hard sometimes to use slang or be cool, and can hinge on being nearly offensive at times, her lines definitely make their way into the pop culture vernacular.


Broad City practically made Bed, Bath and Beyond cool. Abbi loves this store a lot. She is always collecting their coupons, and she is often shown making trips to the store.

RELATED: 15 Hilarious Times The Ladies Of ‘Broad City’ Were Actually Your Spirit Animals

Another amazing thing about Broad City is that it is filmed in New York City and features a very specific New York lifestyle. Bed, Bath and Beyond is fairly easy to find in the city, so this is just one other way the show features NYC and what it’s like to live there.


Abbi is also a huge fan of Drew Barrymore. One of the running jokes on the show is that Abby has a suitcase that is recommended and loved by Drew Barrymore herself. In the episode, “Jews on a Plane,” where Abbi and Ilana are going to Israel, Abbi says this line to an airline employee.

She’s definitely super proud of this fact and wants to let everyone know it. This is just one of Abby’s quirks that makes her so relatable.


Ilana really loves Abbi. While Abbi wasn’t really as into the idea of being in a romantic relationship with Ilana, the two of them definitely had a more classic romantic friendship, which was a rare and special dynamic to see on television.

RELATED: 10 Best TV Comedy Shows Featuring A Female Lead (On Air Right Now)

Ilana is always very complimentary of Abbi. She likes to give Abbi a self-esteem boost, whether it’s complimenting her ass or expressing how much she cares about her.


Ilana has the ability to stay out partying and go out and do things all the time as the more extroverted of the two. Meanwhile, Abbi is the character that many introverts and more responsible people can relate to as she sometimes just wants to have her apartment to herself and enjoy being alone.

RELATED: Divorce & Insecure: HBO Presents Two Very Different Comedies About Uncertainty

Many fans can relate to the idea that some nights all you want to do is just sit on the couch and catch up on your favorite TV shows.


While Broad City might be over, the friendship between Abbi and Ilana will live on. While the two are going their separate ways for now as they move on to some important things in their lives, they will always love each other and be friends. The show was an exploration of the importance of friendships, the kind between two people are who there for each other through it all. This line sums that up perfectly.

NEXT: 10 Jim Halpert Quotes That Show Why He Was A Heartthrob

2019-04-04 07:04:11

Amanda Steele

Broad City: Top 10 Ilana Wexler Quotes

Broad City has officially come to an end, and fans are still sobbing from the finale. How are we to make it through this end of an era? What will we do without Ilana’s hilariously altered pronunciations of basic words? How will we survive without Abbi’s insistence that she is NOT, in fact, a Mom? Hell, we’re even gonna miss Bevers!

RELATED: 10 Funniest Shows On TV Right Now

So to honor the final episode of the funniest/most heartwarming show of all time, let’s take a look at some of the top 10 quotes from one of the most memorable Qwueens on the show, the one and only Ilana Wexler!

10 “My Frond To The Ond.”

“My friend to the end” in English translation. There is nothing in the world Ilana Wexler values more than her friendships, especially when it comes to her friendship with Abbi. Ilana has known Abbi for years, yet still manages to remind her every day how much of a witch qwueen goddess she is with “chocolate brown eyes and an ass of an angel.”

While others might search their whole lives for a romantic partner, Ilana feels complete in her friendship with Abbi and she couldn’t hope for anything more. We could only dream about having a friend as loving and supportive as Ilana.

9 “In Da Clerb, We All Fam.”

Ilana: In da clerb, we all fam.

Abbi: What?

Ilana: In da clerb, we all fam!

Abbi: What?

Ilana: In the club, we’re all family! God, are you racist?!

This is one of the funniest lines on the show and something that fans of Broad City love to shout out whenever they’re at the club. Again, this is another classic example of Ilana Wexler creating her own unique pronunciation of words that perfectly sum up her character as a whole. Plus, her constant need to create a bond with every person in New York City is apparent here where she feels connected to everyone around her, even complete strangers. In Ilana’s eyes, strangers are just family members that you haven’t met yet!

8 “You Must Swipe Yas, You Cannot Swipe Nas.”

“You must swipe yes, you cannot swipe no” in English Translation.

In this episode, Abbi decides to use the dating app, Bumble. She ends up finding her old High School teacher on the app and can’t decide whether or not it would be too weird to swipe right on him. Ilana, being the queen of adventure, decides that Abbi should definitely do it. Ilana is always able to help others live their life to the fullest and this is just one of the many examples of her doing that. The date doesn’t go exactly as planned for Abbi, but luckily she has Ilana around to save the day for her.


Oh, Ilana. We have always admired how open you are able to be with your innermost desires and your ability to pronounce certain words in the weirdest fashion.

RELATED: 10 Best TV Comedy Shows Featuring A Female Lead (On Air Right Now)

In this episode, Abbi and Ilana realize that they have been spending all of their time online. Disgusted by how anti-social they have become from staring at a screen all day, they decide to get all old fashioned and actually step out into the sunlight of the great outdoors. Abbi asks how they are supposed to get boys if they don’t have Tinder to use because they’ve decided to abandon all forms of technology for the day. Ilana suggests they simply shout WANNA FOOK at the boys they come across at the park. Only Ilana Wexler!

6 “Never Have I Ever Read A Newspaper.”

Ilana: Never have I ever read a newspaper.

Lincoln: Really? Even homeless people read newspapers.

This just goes to show how millennial of a show Broad City is. A lot of the show is a satirical look at the way millennials go about life, and doing something as simple as reading a newspaper is something the generation just isn’t familiar with. This quote also goes along with Ilana’s character as a whole.

Although she wants to be fully aware of all the social issues the world is currently facing in a noble attempt to fix them, she can sometimes come across as oblivious. She is trying her best to make a real change though, and we think that counts for a lot.

5 My Biggest Weakness Is That I Lose My Purse A Lot

“My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot, But then my biggest strength is that I always get it back.”

The funniest part about this line is that in the scene, Ilana is the one who is interviewing others yet she is still answering the interview questions herself. I think Ilana has a lot of more powerful strengths than finding her purse after losing it, but it is definitely an admirable strength to have.

4 “My Two Favorite Things: Hamburgers and Abbi”

Lincoln: Ohh, so you bought the drawing.

Ilana: Mhm, two of my favorite things.

Lincoln: Art and Abbi?

Ilana: Um, hamburgers and Abbi.

RELATED: Family Guy: 10 Best Brian Griffin Quotes

In this episode, Ilana buys Abbi’s artwork. The art piece is a drawing Abbi has made of a hamburger. Ilana will do anything to help her best friend out, especially when it comes to her passion for art. She will even buy a 17 dollar drawing of a hamburger just to make her friend feel like her art matters. There’s nothing more valuable than a friend who actively supports your deepest passions.

3 “This Is What Living On The Edge Looks Like!”

In this episode, Ilana and Abbi are out at a seafood restaurant to celebrate Abbi’s 26th birthday. This isn’t just any old seafood restaurant, though. Beyonce and Jay-Z ate there once!

During the dinner, Ilana wants her best friend’s birthday to go perfectly. In an effort to keep the night alive, Ilana eats all of the seafood ordered despite the fact that she’s insanely allergic to it. As a result, her face becomes utterly swollen and she can barely see anymore because of the swelling in her eyes. But no need to fret! It’s just what living on the edge looks like. More proof right here that Ilana will literally risk dying to make sure that her friend has a successful night. Admittedly, her attempts to make Abbi feel good often go way too far, but we so appreciate her effort and we know Abbi does as well.

2 “Ben Affleck Was Homeless For A Night For A Charity…”

Abbi: We’re technically homeless right now.

Ilana: Ben Affleck was homeless for a night for a charity… we’re, like, doing that, just involuntarily.

Abbi: Yeah, we’re just a regular Matt and Ben…

In this episode, Ilana and Abbi are locked out of their apartment and must experience life without a place to live. Homeless, they end up eating garbage bagels even though it has only been a few hours spent on the streets. Ilana attempts to put a positive spin on the situation by suggesting that she and Abbi are just doing what celebrities have done before despite the fact that the two of them are doing it involuntarily. Classic Ilana, always trying to see the good in everything!

1 “Dude, I Would Follow You Into Hell Brother!”

Ilana: Dude, I would follow you into hell, brother!

Abbi: I would take you on my shoulders, like, I’d strap you up and be like, “Let’s go through hell!”

This is said in the pilot episode of Broad City after Abbi and Ilana go through extraneous lengths just to score Lil’ Wayne concert tickets. By extraneous lengths, I mean cleaning the apartment of a man who thinks he’s a baby, played hilariously by Fred Armisen.

Ilana will do literally anything for Abbi and vice versa, including following each other into hell. That is pure unconditional love. Ilana and Abbi’s relationship has taught so many people to appreciate friendship in the same sort of way that these two are able to. We are going to miss Broad City so much. Even though the show has sadly come to an “ond,” fans will continue to quote the phrases of Ilana Wexler for years to come.

NEXT: 10 Jim Halpert Quotes That Show Why He Was A Heartthrob

2019-03-29 03:03:43

Simone Torn

Futurama: 10 Best Bender Quotes

What would Futurama be without Bender, the foul-mouthed, hard-drinking, cigar-smoking, crime-committing four-year-old robot? As part of the main ensemble, Bender was at once a foil to the rest of the crew’s more law-abiding tendencies and also a lovable mascot for the Planet Express crew.

RELATED: 10 Dark Futurama Fan Theories That Change Everything

With superb voicework provided by the incomparable John DiMaggio, Bender quickly became one of the most popular characters on the show, and although someone like Bender could have quickly become irritating, there was still enough heart and personality under his cold, metal exterior to keep him endearing. Here are ten of the best quotes that show just how great Bender really was.

10 “I’m so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.”

Bender has always been the kind of character who boasts a huge but fragile ego. Even when he faces defeat, he is still fully aware of how great he is and that even though he is feeling a lot of shame, it should be everyone else that feels it instead of him.

Bender is the sort of robot who makes “kill all humans” his catchphrase, so it’s natural that he would not really care about the sanctity of human life. In fact, to him, the idea that human life is sacred would be enough to elicit a huge laugh.

9 “My story is a lot like yours, only more interesting ‘cause it involves robots.”

Robots are cool, and Bender is acutely aware of this. Even in the year 3000, when robots are pretty much everywhere, Bender knows that they are a lot cooler than pretty much any other lifeform.

Bender says this line when he meets one of his culinary idols serving up food in a hobo camp. Bender feels that their stories are incredibly similar, but obviously, his is a lot more fun because it involves robots (particularly it involves Bender, the coolest robot out there).

8 “This is the worst kind of discrimination there is: the kind against me!”

There’s nothing worse than having someone say no to you, and Bender knows this all too well. When he and Fry try to use a military discount to purchase ham-flavored gum, they are quickly rebuked by the store clerk, who informs them (correctly) that the discount is only for people in the military.

RELATED: Futurama: The 5 Best (and 5 Worst) Episodes

Bender utters this line, which to be fair, is all too true. What makes the situation even worse is that right after, Bender and Fry enlist in the army to get the discount, but right after signing their papers, “war were declared.”

7 “Anything less than immortality is a complete waste of time.”

When Bender finds out that he was improperly built without a backup unit, he quickly realizes that all of the times he put his life on the line were really, well, him putting his life on the line.

Bender utters the line when Hermes tries to comfort him about being mortal, and how having only a short time on Earth makes everything matter a lot more. This episode ends with a really touching montage about how Hermes was the one to spare baby Bender’s life back when he was first working as a robot inspector.

6 “‘Hands in the air’ rhymes with ‘just don’t care…’ And finished!”

When Bender is finally mangled by the can opener that he has always been afraid of, he loses the use of his body. However, with the help of Beck, Bender learns how to use small robot arms to play his body like a washboard. He quickly becomes a folk music hero and decides to write his own song about broken robots.

RELATED: Futurama: 10 Zapp Brannigan Quotes That Are Life

It’s while writing this masterpiece that Bender says this line, delivering it like the final lyrics to his song are a stroke of genius. The joke pays off later when Bender finally gets to perform his song, and out of nowhere, he really does tell the audience “put your hands in the air like you just don’t care.”

5 “How can I be so bad at everything I try, and still be so great?”

We already talked about how Bender has a healthy (or unhealthy, depending on how you look at it) ego, and even when he’s been utterly defeated, he still manages to somehow see himself as being the greatest.

This line comes in the episode “40% Leadbelly.” After Bender realizes that he can’t write a hit folk song after all (which he should have realized the first time he tried to do it with Beck in “Bendin’ in the Wind”), he has to deal with the fact that somehow being great doesn’t translate to talent.

4 “My life, and by extension everyone else’s, is meaningless.”

When Bender is shut down from ever being a Harlem Globetrotter (he looks deep in his heart and must admit that he is not funky enough), he seems to have a bit of an existential crisis. After all, if he can’t achieve his dream, then what is the point of anything anymore?

RELATED: Futurama Characters By Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Bender utters this line just as he is about to put the doomsday device in place in order to solve the temporal issues taking place throughout the universe. If only he had been around when Bubblegum Tate declared everyone in the room an honorary Globetrotter…

3 “Of all the friends I’ve had, you’re the first.”

When Bender and Fry first meet, Bender can barely believe that anyone would want to have a robot as a friend. In a way, it is Fry’s friendship that gives Bender’s life meaning. After all, the two met while Bender was waiting in line to use a suicide machine.

In the episode “I, Roommate,” Bender and Fry decide to move in together, and after a rocky few nights of Fry trying to sleep in Bender’s tiny apartment (which is essentially just a closet), they move to a much bigger place. Even though Bender and Fry’s friendship is tested, they stick together, and in the end, Fry ends up living in Bender’s closet (a massive apartment).

2 “I’m going to build my own theme park! With blackjack! And hookers!

“You know what – forget the park!”

In the second episode of Futurama, Fry makes his first delivery with the rest of the crew. They head to Luna Park, a theme park built on the moon. To everyone else, it’s a pretty conventional trip, but Fry can barely contain his excitement.

Bender spends most of the episode making all sorts of trouble (obviously), and after getting kicked out of Luna Park, he declares he is going to start his own theme park with all of the things that he wants.

1 “Bite my shiny metal ass!”

How could any of Bender’s other quotes take the top spot over this one? It might just be the most frequent phrase that he says, and there are plenty of variations on it (“bite my glorious golden ass,” “bite my red, hot, glowing ass,” and so on and so on).

Bender’s catchphrase essentially became the catchphrase for the entire show, encompassing not just the show’s attitude, but also its futuristic setting.

NEXT: 25 Twisted Futurama Facts That Will Surprise Even Longtime Fans

2019-03-29 03:03:16

Colin Leggett

10 Most Memorable Quotes From Taxi Driver

Martin Scorsese has made a lot of great movies, but Taxi Driver could still make a claim for being his best movie. It’s certainly his definitive work: New York is a character in the movie, it has a beautiful jazzy score, it explores a seedy criminal underworld, it’s unapologetically graphic, it represents its place in history with a cynical view of the Vietnam War, and it stars Robert De Niro as a deeply flawed and violent leading character. If it’s not the greatest Scorsese movie, it’s the one that most represents his strengths as a director. Here are the 10 Most Memorable Quotes From Taxi Driver.

RELATED: Everything We Know About Martin Scorsese’s Netflix Movie The Irishman

10 “Anytime, anywhere.”

The personnel officer who hires Travis to be a cabbie in the first place in the movie’s opening scene asks him, “Wanna work uptown at nights? South Bronx? Harlem?” and Travis simply tells him, “I’ll work anytime, anywhere.” Then the personnel officer asks him, “Will you work on Jewish holidays?” and Travis repeats himself: “Anytime, anywhere.” This is a guy who doesn’t expect very much from society. He doesn’t think any area of New York is beneath him. He’ll drive anywhere and he’ll do it day or night. This also establishes that Travis has terrible insomnia, because he’s up for driving all day and night.

9 “Man, she’s twelve and a half years old. You never had no p***y like that.”

What finally breaks Travis and makes him want to take action and clean up the streets of his city himself is finding out there’s a twelve-year-old prostitute in the mix. And Harvey Keitel plays the scumbag pimp character, Sport, perfectly, leaning into his sickening nature: “Well, take it or leave it. If you want to save yourself some money, don’t f**k her. ‘Cause you’ll be back here every night for some more. Man, she’s twelve and a half years old. You never had no p***y like that. You can do anything you want with her.” It gets worse, but we’ll stop there.

8 “You’re in a hell, and you’re gonna die in a hell, just like the rest of ‘em!”

Travis Bickle is an extreme version of those “Nice guys finish last” people. They think the girls they like don’t want to date them because they can’t see how great they are – but are they really that great? Travis takes Betsy to see a porno movie and then gets angry at her when that creeps her out.

RELATED: Rumor Patrol: Taxi Driver Remake?

He tells her, “Let me tell you something. You’re in a hell, and you’re gonna die in a hell, just like the rest of ‘em!” In his voiceover narration, he rationalizes his actions to make the fact she’s rejecting him her fault: “I realize now how much she’s just like the others, cold and distant, and many people are like that, women for sure, they’re like a union.”

7 “I have a .44 Magnum pistol. I’m gonna kill her with that gun.”

Martin Scorsese will occasionally put himself in his movies. He subbed in for Harvey Keitel in Charlie’s voiceover in Mean Streets. But perhaps his most famous role is that of the deranged man who sits in Travis’ cab and catches his wife with another man. He starts telling him about how he’s going to exact his revenge against her: “I have a .44 Magnum pistol. I’m gonna kill her with that gun. Did you ever see what a .44 Magnum pistol can do to a woman’s face? I mean, it’ll f**king destroy it. Just blow her right apart.” Travis gets some wacky passengers.

6 “I have to clean the cum off the back seat. Some nights, I clean off the blood.”

This quote is pretty gross, but that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be. Not only does it point out how terrible Travis’ life is, since it’s his job to clean disgusting fluids out of his car at an absurd time like four o’clock in the morning; it also implies some pretty gnarly things he sees during his day-to-day. His voiceover reveals, “Each night, when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the cum off the back seat. Some nights, I clean off the blood.” He’s just a cab driver – there’s only about three feet separating him from his passengers. And yet, somehow, semen and blood end up on the seats. Our imaginations run wild.

5 “Here is a man who would not take it anymore.”

Travis Bickle may be the single most mentally disturbed individual ever portrayed on film, but he sees himself as a hero of his time. He’s just like everybody else, except he decided to take action, and then makes him the man of his moment. He presents himself and his manifesto to us, referring to himself in the third person, in an inspirational speech: “Listen, you f**kers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the c**ts, the dogs, the filth, the s**t. Here is a man who stood up.”

4 “I’m God’s lonely man.”

Travis Bickle’s defining trait is his loneliness. He feels cast out by society and isolated from everyone. After he left Vietnam and returned to New York, he didn’t feel like he could fit in. He explained, “Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape. I’m God’s lonely man.”

RELATED: 12 Best Robert De Niro Performances Of All Time

But maybe that loneliness is self-imposed. Travis represents all the veterans who have returned from war with PTSD and been rejected by society. However, he seems more comfortable as an outcast than when he involves himself in social situations. Maybe he’s better off being “God’s lonely man.”

3 “See ya later, copper!”

This quote by Harvey Keitel’s pimp character, Sport, doesn’t seem like very much, but it speaks volumes about the problems Travis sees in America. This guy is a pimp, selling preteen girls’ bodies on the street, and when he says to Travis, “See ya later, copper!” and Travis replies, “I’m no cop, man,” and Sport tells him, “Well, if you are, then it’s entrapment already,” it points out a flaw in the system. Sport has read his rights and found all the loopholes. He knows how to keep doing what he does and not get sent to jail. That’s why Travis feels the need to take matters into his own hands.

2 “You talkin’ to me?”

This is the line everyone remembers. Even if they’ve never seen the movie, they know there’s a movie out there in which Robert De Niro utters this line. But it’s the context that makes it so powerful. He’s so isolated that he’s talking to himself in the mirror, responding to something that’s not actually being said, practicing how he’s going to threaten people on the street: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Well, then who the hell else are you talking – You talking to me? Well, I’m the only one here. Who the f**k do you think you’re talking to?”

1 “Someday, a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.”

This whole monologue is perfect, because it sums up Travis’ cynical view of the world and the mental downfall that drives him to take matters into his own hands: “Thank God for the rain, which has helped wash away the garbage and trash off the sidewalks. I’m working long hours now: six in the afternoon to six in the morning. Sometimes, even eight in the morning, six days a week. Sometimes seven days a week. It’s a long hustle, but it keeps me real busy. I can take in three, three-fifty a week. Sometimes even more when I do it off the meter. All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk p*****s, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday, a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.”

NEXT: 10 Most Memorable Quotes From Goodfellas

2019-03-28 07:03:25

Ben Sherlock

The Office: 10 Best Pam Beesly Quotes

Pam Beesly might not be known as being the most outright funny character on The Office, but she definitely has her moments where she makes us laugh. Beyond that, however, Pam is one of the steadiest, most relatable characters on the show and provides a lot of heart to the show to balance out some of the more ridiculous characters. Pam goes on quite the journey as the series progresses and she learns to love herself and go after the things she really wants.

RELATED: The Office: 10 Reasons Season 1 Was The Best Of Them All

From funny quotes to inspiring ones, we’ve collected a list of 10 of the best Pam Beesly quotes from The Office.


“You couldn’t even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.”

This quote comes from the infamous “Beach Day” episode. In this episode, the staff of Dunder Mifflin Scranton goes to the beach, and Michael comes up with some ridiculous tests to help figure out which of his employees should take his job. Pam isn’t considered to be worthy of being the boss, but she proves her bravery when she does the coal walk.

This is a big moment for Pan and provides a breakthrough for her. She uses her newfound courage to tell Jim she misses him, too, leading to one of the most memorable Jim and Pam moments on the show.


“So, look out world, cuz ol’ Pammy is getting’ what she wants. And, don’t call me, Pammy.”

One of the most enjoyable things about Pam on The Office is seeing her journey as the seasons go on. In season one, Pam is in a rut and in a bad relationship with Roy.

RELATED: 10 Actors You Forgot Appeared On The Office

She has had dreams of being an artist and being happy but is too scared to go after what she wants and stick up for herself. This quote illustrates part of her journey to learn to stand up for herself and be direct. Seeing Pam begin to trust herself and ask for what she wants is definitely relatable and rewarding.

8 “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”

This quote comes from the series finale. This episode was full of emotional moments and provided a good wrap up for the show and all of the characters that fans had grown to love over the years.

Near the end of the episode, Pam talks about how she at first didn’t understand why the documentary crew picked them. But, she reflects back on her life and how the ordinary(and wild) moments are important. This quote is definitely one that many people can relate to.


“Of course, by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn’t smack her.”

Pam might be sometimes shy and not always the best at sticking up for herself, at least in the first couple seasons of the show, but she’s not a total pushover. She and Angela don’t always get along well, even though Pam does try to be nice to her.

With this funny quote, Pam shows her humorous side. Sometimes Pam comes out with surprisingly funny and insightful lines that show there is more than meets the eye to her character.


“filled with sun surf, and uh, diligent note-taking.

This is another quote from the “Beach Day” episode. In this episode, Michael assigns Pam to take notes about everything that everyone does on beach day since he’s trying to find his replacement.

RELATED: 20 Characters The Office Wants Us To Forget

Poor Pam isn’t very excited about this job and gives this dry, funny line. While Pam might start out the day taking notes, she ends the day with her triumphant coal walk moment. So, in the end, she really is the winner of beach day.


“Which i realize is a lot to ask for… At a dinner party.”

This quote comes from one of the best and funniest episodes of the entire show. In this episode, Jim and Pam go to Michael and Jan’s condo for a dinner party and a lot of hilarious moments ensue.

With this quote, Pam lets out some of her frustration at having to deal with Michael and Jan as all she wants to do is eat dinner, and we can’t blame her.


“That man is Michael Scott. He’s supporting about twenty Nigerian princesses.”

Pam is sometimes more quiet and subdued than some of her co-workers, but she observes a lot and sometimes comes out with some pretty funny lines.

RELATED: 10 Pop Culture References Created From The Office

In this episode, Michael is the target of a roast. Pam knows Michael very well as she has to deal with him a lot as the office secretary. This line is one of the funniest of the roast.


“My kids are gonna be right about that.”

One thing that many fans loved about The Office is the relationship between Jim and Pam and seeing how it progresses with the show. With this quote, Pam is talking about how her parents are getting divorced.

She is worried in the episode about her and Jim but then remembers that they are meant to be together. This is a sweet quote that speaks to how central Jim and Pam’s relationship was to the show.


“Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast, because life just isn’t that long.”

Pam says this quote at the end of the series finale, and it’s definitely one of her most powerful moments. She is talking about how she started watching the documentary once it was released but couldn’t finish it because she was frustrated with her younger self.

She laments that she wasted a lot of time being scared to go after what she wanted, and she hopes that the documentary will help other people be inspired to not be scared and go after what they want.


This list wouldn’t be complete without Pam’s most quoted moment from the entire show. This quote has become an internet meme and sensation that’s still popular today.

In this episode, the Dunder Mifflin crew goes to Chili’s for their first on-screen Dundies. Pam ends up getting a little too drunk, flirts with Jim, and ends up being banned from Chili’s.

NEXT: The Office: The 5 Best Couples (And The 5 Worst)

2019-03-28 03:03:49

Amanda Steele

8 Fiercest Female Quotes From Game Of Thrones

From the dragons to the White Walkers to the full-frontal nudity, Game of Thrones has a lot going for it. But one of the best things about this epic fantasy series is the strength of its female characters. In many medieval-style stories, women are confined to the sidelines, and if a female character does happen to take center stage, it’s usually as a love interest or a damsel in distress. But the women of Game of Thrones are much more than romantic side characters, and if Arya or Daenerys ever need to be rescued, we’ll know that all hope for Westeros is lost. Whether they’re soaring through the sky on dragons, leading armies into battle or learning the art of assassination, the female characters in Game of Thrones are as fierce as they come, and they’ve delivered some of the most memorable lines in the series.

Here are 8 fierce quotes from the women of Game of Thrones:

RELATED: 8 Characters In Game Of Thrones Who Might Actually Be Someone Else

8 You are small men…

Daenerys: You are small men. None of you are fit to lead the Dothraki. But I am. So I will.

Most people surrounded by a group of Dothraki Khals with more collective muscle mass than a giant from Beyond the Wall probably wouldn’t call them a bunch of small men unfit to lead their people. But Daenerys would, and that’s what makes her the Mother of Dragons.

She is unfazed by the posturing of strong men, and puts more weight on the strength of a person’s mind than the size of their biceps. It’s these qualities that make her a strong leader — one fit to lead not just the Dothraki, but all of Westeros.

7 I’m sure cutting off heads is very satisfying…

Sansa: I’m sure cutting off heads is very satisfying, but that’s not the way you get people to work together.

Few characters have grown as much as Sansa Stark throughout the series. At the beginning of the show, she was but a child, dreaming of a future filled with princes, gowns, and ladies-in-waiting. But as the world darkened around her, her idealistic view of the world crumbled and she was forced to learn the wily ways of King’s Landing. Since then, she’s become a seasoned player in the game of thrones, leading armies and making big decisions for her people.

RELATED: Game Of Thrones: 8 Characters Who Could Be Azor Ahai

Despite some of the darker deeds she’s had a hand in (like the whole “feeding her husband to a group of starving dogs” thing), Sansa knows that barbarism isn’t the best way to create a sense of community, and when she delivers this line, she proves that she’s become as wise a political mind as any.

6 The next time you raise a hand to me…

Daenerys: The next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands.

Daenerys is loathe to let an army of the dead push her around, let alone her own brother. When Viserys strikes Daenerys in the first season of Game of Thrones, she unleashes the dragon within and threatens him with her newfound power as the Khaleesi of the Dothraki. Eventually, her threats come to fruition and Viserys ends up with the golden crown he always asked for –  but it’s poured over his head as liquid metal. Be careful what you wish for.

5 Fear cuts deeper than swords

Arya: Fear cuts deeper than swords.

A sword can cut your skin but it can’t infiltrate your mind in the same way as fear. At its worst, fear keeps us from being who we truly are – from being the best versions of ourselves. Arya realizes this at a young age and constantly pushes herself beyond her comfort zone, sailing across the Narrow Sea, learning the ways of the Faceless Men and returning to Westeros a changed girl – all before the age of 18. So, if Arya can master her fears and become a fierce assassin, can’t we all? (Minus the assassin part.)

4 Woman? Is that meant to insult me?

Daenerys: Woman? Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap if I took you for a man.

In Westeros, women are expected to stay at home and take care of the children. The place they’re definitely not expected to be? On top of a dragon, claiming their right to the throne. Daenerys knows what people expect of women in her world, and she cares not one bit.

RELATED: 8 Tyrion Lannister Quotes Proving He Deserves the Iron Throne

She is as ambitious as she is fierce, and although many try to force her into a feminine mold, she lives her life exactly the way she wants, whether that means freeing slaves, taking lovers, or fighting White Walkers. Dealing out the insults as quickly as she receives them, she lets no man boss her around. If they do, they’ve got dragons to contend with.

3 You’re mine and I’m yours

Ygritte: You’re mine and I’m yours. And if we die, we die. But first, we’ll live.

All men must die. But not all live before they die. Ygritte was determined not to be one of these people, squeezing every bit of passion and excitement that she could from her life. With her spirit as fiery as the color of her hair, she lived for the moment and eschewed any expectations placed upon her. Although she did end up dying in the end (like most Game of Thrones characters we come to love), she accomplished her goal and lived one of the most adventurous lives in the series before succumbing to an arrow wound.

2 I’ve known a great many clever men

Olenna: I’ve known a great many clever men. I’ve outlived them all. You know why? I ignored them.

Olenna Tyrell may be an old lady, but she doesn’t pull her punches. Delivering some of the sassiest one-liners in the series, she uses her thorn-sharp wit to critique those around her, from King Joffrey to her own granddaughter. No one is safe from her shrewd judgement, and she especially loves to target those in power.

RELATED: Game Of Thrones Theory: Jon Snow Isn’t The Only Secret Targaryen

Having outlived most everyone else in her generation, she decides to let Daenerys in on her secret to longevity: don’t listen to clever men. She then goes on to call the Lords of Westeros a bunch of sheep. The Queen of Thorns indeed.

1 All men must die, but we are not men

Daenerys: All men must die, but we are not men.

Throughout the ages, women have been told to follow a different set of rules than men. Instead of being encouraged to study the nuances of political discourse, they were told that needlework was a more suitable pastime. Rather than training with a sword, they were taught to hone their housekeeping skills in preparation for married life. But Daenerys took this idea of dual roles and turned it around on its head. If different rules apply to women, then surely that must extend to all aspects of society – including the most often quoted line in the series. If all men must die, then what does that mean for women? There are worse ways for the series to end than an immortal dragon queen ruling all of Westeros.

NEXT: Game of Thrones: 10 Outside The Box Possibilities To Win The Iron Throne

2019-03-24 11:03:10

Leanne Louie

Beverly Hills Cop: 10 Funniest Axel Foley Quotes

Out of all the iconic characters Eddie Murphy has played, Axel Foley from Beverly Hills Cop is arguably the most hilarious and universally treasured. For years, Murphy has been saying he’ll return to the role and make a fourth movie in the franchise, bringing him back to Detroit where it all began. Until then, we have three hysterical and endlessly quotable movies to rewatch again and again. While the third movie isn’t the best, Axel is still Axel and Murphy still goes all in with the funny, so even that has its merits. Here are the 10 Funniest Axel Foley Quotes.

RELATED: Beverly Hills Cop 4 Pitch: The Return of ‘Raw’ R-Rated Eddie Murphy

10 You don’t have to be embarrassed…

Billy, you know, you don’t have to be embarrassed if your d**k gets hard.

Beverly Hills Cop is a different kind of buddy cop movie in that it doesn’t just pair up two cops – it pairs up two cops who are already paired up with a third cop. In one scene, Axel takes the other two guys to a strip club and he tells Judge Reinhold’s Billy character, “Billy, you know, you don’t have to be embarrassed if your d**k gets hard. Your d**k is supposed to get hard. See? That’s the whole object of this. Taggart’s d**k is hard, but he won’t let you know, ‘cause he’s the boss. Boss’ d**k got to stay limp, right? See, I ain’t on duty, so my d**k can be hard.”

9 A heh-heh-heh-heh

Eddie Murphy is one of a few comedians who have a famous laugh, like Seth Rogen and Jimmy Carr, and that laugh is repeated in all three Beverly Hills Cop movies. To Axel, everything is a big joke. He is able to get serious when the situation demands it, but when he’s talking his way out of trouble or he’s talking to one of his friends, he’s constantly joking around. That means there are plenty of opportunities in the movies for Axel to laugh, which is why he’s the character that made Eddie Murphy’s distinctive “A heh-heh-heh-heh!” laugh so well-known.

8 I don’t wanna step on your tongues, excuse me

Beverly Hills Cop II may not be as great or as funny or as ground-breaking as the original, but as sequels to action comedies go, it’s pretty darn good. It does have some inspired comic moments, courtesy of Eddie Murphy’s usual improvisation.

RELATED: Eddie Murphy Planning A ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ TV Show

In one scene, he finds himself at the Playboy Mansion’s pool and yells at his crotch: “Wake up! This is what we’ve always talked about! Look alive! You may never see it again!” And then he takes a huge step past Billy and Taggart, who are also there, and says, “I don’t wanna step on your tongues, excuse me.”

7 Okay, everybody’s ready here, okay.

Okay, everybody’s ready here, okay. Nobody needs to take a nervous p**s or nothing, right?

What separates Axel Foley from the other cops in action movies is that he points out all the things that would exist in real life that typically don’t get a mention in Hollywood cinema. One example of this is this line from the third movie, in which Axel asks if anyone on his tactical team needs to “take a nervous p**s.” He says, “Okay, everybody’s ready here, okay. Nobody needs to take a nervous p**s or nothing, right? We got this? Okay? Let’s mount up.” It stands to reason that a team of police officers embarking on a raid might need to go to the bathroom due to nerves.

6 How the f**k can you steal a house?

How the f**k can you steal a house? This is…my uncle’s house!

When Axel’s checking out a house that’s undergoing some renovation, Taggart stops by to investigate. As usual, Axel tries to slip out of the situation with some quick thinking: “Oh, you mean the construction that’s going on. Yes, I’m very embarrassed about that. What I’m trying to do, though, is just confine myself to the other five bedrooms. I’m used to compromising my lifestyle.” Taggart, not buying any of it (because he knows Axel and what he’s like), says, “Bulls**t! You’ve stolen this house!” So, then Axel says, “How the f**k can you steal a house? This is…my uncle’s house!”

5 Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood?

Yo, man, we gotta talk, seriously. Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood? Dirty Rosewood?

While Axel develops a relationship with both Judge Reinhold’s character Billy Rosewood and John Ashton’s character John Taggart in the Beverly Hills Cop movies, he develops a closer friendship – and a funnier dynamic – with Rosewood. This is because Rosewood is the polar opposite of Axel, and yet he wants to be just like him. Axel finds that sweet. When he sees Rosewood with a huge handgun in the second movie, Axel asks him, “Yo, man! What’s that for?” He explains, “After the shootout at the club, I figured I needed more firepower.” And then Axel quips, “Yo, man, we gotta talk, seriously. Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood? Dirty Rosewood?”

4 This is the cleanest and nicest police car…

This is the cleanest and nicest police car I’ve ever been in in my life.

The whole joke lying under Beverly Hills Cop is that this streetwise guy from Detroit finds himself mingling among the 1% in upper-class Beverly Hills. The comedy comes from the clash of cultures and social classes. It’s like an action movie version of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. An example of this is when Axel is being held in the back of a police car, looking around at how pleasant and cleanly it is, and tells the officers, “This is the cleanest and nicest police car I’ve ever been in in my life. This thing’s nicer than my apartment.”

3 Michael Jackson can sit on top of the world…

Michael Jackson can sit on top of the world, just as long as he doesn’t sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel, ‘cause there’s no n****rs allowed in there!

Axel Foley can talk his way into getting whatever he wants. If he wants a free room in a fancy hotel like the Beverly Palm Hotel, all he has to do is go up to the front desk and say they made a mistake with the reservation. When they contest this, he launches into a tirade about racism and makes a scene, after which they give him a room.

RELATED: CBS Passes on ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ Pilot – Will It Be Picked Up by Another Network?

He claims to be a reporter from Rolling Stone magazine who’s in town to interview Michael Jackson and says, “I was gonna call the article ‘Michael Jackson is sitting on top of the world,’ but now I think I might as well just call it ‘Michael Jackson can sit on top of the world, just as long as he doesn’t sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel, ‘cause there’s no n****rs allowed in there!”

2 I never been in no cell that had a phone in it.

I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while? ‘Cause I ordered some pizza.

The biggest culture shock to Axel when he gets to Beverly Hills is just how privileged everyone is. In fact, when he’s arrested for getting thrown out of a window and put in jail, he finds that even the prisoners get more luxuries than he gets as a free man in Detroit, because the prison cell has a phone in it that he’s free to use. When the officers inform him that he’s free to go, he tells them, “I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while? ‘Cause I ordered some pizza.”

1 What’s the f**king charge for getting pushed out of a moving car?

What’s the f**king charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?

While investigating his friend’s murder outside his jurisdiction, Axel enters an office and ends up getting thrown out of the window by security. Then a couple of police officers arrest him and he asks them what charges he’s being brought up on and they claim it’s “disturbing the peace.” Then, with perfect comic timing, he quips, “Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What’s the f**king charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?” Axel always has the most brilliant line, which Eddie Murphy always delivers hilariously, and this is a prime example of that.

NEXT: 10 of the Absolute Funniest Quotes From Bridesmaids

2019-03-24 03:03:03

Ben Sherlock