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Popular Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts HousesOnl

Most of us know Ryan Murphy as the TV Renaissance man behind anthology series American Horror Story and American Crime Story, as well as the smash-hit musical series Glee. However, few remember Murphy’s first series, the WB teen dramedy, Popular.

Popular chronicles the trials and tribulations of two warring high school cliques: the beautiful, blonde popular ones and the brunette outcasts—who also happen to all look like models. The series hardly lived up to its name, airing only two seasons. However, with its off-the-wall blend of teenage melodrama and campy, non-sequitur humor, Popular has since developed a modest cult following.

RELATED: 5 Best Couples On Glee (And 5 Of The Worst)

Whether they like it or not, the Popular teens are defined and judged by whichever clique they belong to. In this regard, Kennedy High isn’t dissimilar to Harry Potter‘s Hogwarts. There, students are sorted into one of four houses—Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Slytherin, or Hufflepuff—based on their personalities. If Brooke, Sam, and all their pals were to show up at Hogwarts, would they view their new house as a fresh start…or just the same old pigeonholing? Here are the Popular Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses.

10 Brooke McQueen – Ravenclaw

Brooke McQueen is living the teen dream. She’s head cheerleader, at the top of her class and at the beginning of the series, is dating the eligible Josh Ford. Yes indeed, it appears Brooke’s life is sheer perfection—which is exactly what she wants you to think.

Ravenclaws view everything through an academic lens. Thus, Brooke treats popularity like a school subject in which she’s determined to get an A+. Often, this means acting against her own interests. When she was younger, Brooke developed an eating disorder because she thought if she achieved “perfection”, her mom would return after having abandoned her. For all her Ravenclaw logic, Brooke still hasn’t deduced the best way to make herself happy.

9 Samantha “Sam” McPherson – Gryffindor

As a hard-nosed student journalist, Sam McPherson is defiantly unpopular. She’d rather die than eat lunch with the football players and cheerleaders. Gryffindors pride themselves on their ability to go against the grain. However, it is forever their paradox that they strive to stand out, but also desperately want to fit in. On the record, Sam loathes Brooke and her cronies for the choke-hold they have on the school. But off the record, Sam envies all that Brooke has and would give anything for an invitation to eat lunch with the cool kids.

Sam always has some scheme up her sleeve and it usually has to do with exposing the popular kids for the monsters she perceives them to be. But ever the Gryffindor, Sam doesn’t always think things through and her plans often blow up in her face. What she wouldn’t give for a Time-Turner…

8 Nicole Julian – Slytherin

No teen show is complete without the presence of the wicked cheerleader. Nicole Julian checks that box, thank you. She’s the Draco Malfoy of Kennedy High—a privileged blonde whose favorite pastime is ridiculing those she deems unattractive, unpopular, or poor. Like with Malfoy, the Sorting Hat would barely touch Nicole’s head before yelling out, “SLYTHERIN!” Which is just as well. Nicole doesn’t need some ratty hand-me-down hat messing up her blonde tresses.

RELATED: Riverdale Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

Nicole, a reader of Machiavelli and Sun Tzu, has no qualms about destroying lives to get what she wants. This sassy Slytherin even gets April Tuna thrown into juvie in order to steal her class presidency. Nicole is one Avada Kedavra away from becoming She Who Must Not Be Named.

7 Carmen Ferrara – Hufflepuff

For most students at Kennedy, cliques are a religion. But Carmen Ferrara doesn’t see people as their labels; she sees them as individuals. Carmen is accepting of everyone, as is the Hufflepuff way. Hufflepuffs also believe that hard work is all you need to succeed, and can be a little naïve to the harsher ways of the world. Carmen genuinely believes she’ll nab a spot on the cheerleading squad because she’s a gifted dancer. When she doesn’t make the cut due to lack of status, she’s especially crushed because she didn’t see it coming.

But as easy as it may be to knock a Hufflepuff down, they’re never down for the count. Their sheer optimism brings them back to life. Carmen keeps trying and ends up earning her place on the squad. Go, Team Hufflepuff!

6 Josh Ford – Hufflepuff

The Hufflepuff mascot may be the badger, but Josh Ford is more like a golden retriever—eager to please and loyal to a fault. More than anything, Josh wants to star in the school musical. Alas, he fears judgment from his football teammates and his father. Hufflepuffs are sensitive souls who crave approval. Josh displays rebelliousness rare for a Hufflepuff and carries on with the musical, but is crushed when his dad walks out.

Hufflepuffs aren’t always known for their academic prowess and Josh is hardly the brightest flood light on the football field. Still, he’s always eager to try and learn new things, making him one of the most likable jocks television has ever seen.

5 Harrison John – Gryffindor

If Nicole is the Malfoy of the Popular world, Harrison John is the Ron Weasley. Like Ron, Harrison is generally good-natured, if not dissatisfied with his lot in life. He yearns for a muscular physique and better social status and carries a lifelong torch for Brooke.

Harrison also shares Ron’s ineptitude in the romance department, which can be chocked up to a Gryffindor’s lack of long-term thinking. While in the hospital being treated for leukemia, Harrison has a revelation that he’s in love with Sam. However, when Brooke finally reciprocates romantic feelings for Harrison, a romance with her is too tempting to pass up. Thus, Harrison finds himself in the midst of a love triangle, entirely of his own Gryffindor making.

4 Mary Cherry – Slytherin

Mary Cherry is a southern belle who comes from serious money. Slytherin-level money. Despite having no dancing skills, Mary Cherry is essentially able to buy her way onto the cheerleading squad and into the popular clique. Wealth is all she knows. When Mary Cherry was broke for a hot second, she got a job in the cafeteria, only to blow all her money on makeup that same day.

RELATED: Popular Cast: Where Are They Now?

She frequently decrees, “I’ll do anything to be popular…anything.” Mary Cherry may not have Nicole’s cunning, but she display Slytherin ruthlessness all the same. Other characters frequently joke about her serial killer-like tendencies. Mary Cherry would make the most outlandish Death Eater ever, y’all.

3 Lily Esposito – Gryffindor

Like Hermione had S.P.E.W., Lily Esposito always has a cause she’s fighting for. This Gryffindor activist never backs down, frequently challenging authority figures. Lily refuses to dissect a frog in biology class, so Ms. Glass forces her to carry around a dead frog in an effort to humiliate her. But Ms. Glass doesn’t know who she’s messing with, and the punishment just fuels Lily’s fire.

Though smarter than most of her peers, Lily has the Gryffindor tendency to serve her emotions rather than logic. The end of the series finds her in a serious relationship with Josh and when it looks like he has to move away, Lily comes up with the cockamamie idea that they should get married. Their teenage nuptials have disastrous consequences that anybody could have predicted—anybody but a lovestruck Gryffindor.

2 Michael “Sugar Daddy” Bernardino – Gryffindor

A jovial football player and Josh’s best friend, Sugar Daddy can always be counted on to entertain with some rapping or by taking Mary Cherry for a spin on the dance floor. Like many of the characters, Sugar Daddy deals with body issues. Gryffindors don’t always enjoy facing their internal struggles and Sugar Daddy masks his by making himself the life of the party.

When Sugar Daddy is refused a spot on the wrestling team because of his weight, he’s given a fight or flight choice. As a Gryffindor, Sugar Daddy chooses to fight, bravely seeking out the help he needs.

1 Roberta “Bobbi” Glass – Ravenclaw

If Luna Lovegood grew up to be a curmudgeonly science teacher, she’d be Bobbi Glass. Ms. Glass is known for her oddball Ravenclaw randomness. She’ll not-so-subtly share her kinky proclivities with her students and if the mood strikes, Ms. Glass will cancel regular class in favor of putting on a play about sexually transmitted diseases.

While it may seem that Ms. Glass doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her, she has a much thinner skin than Luna. Due to her deep voice and masculine wardrobe, students address Ms. Glass as “sir”. She answers to it but later reveals that she’s hurt by the moniker. Still, nothing will stop Ms. Glass from marching to the beat of her own Ravenclaw drum.

NEXT: Mean Girls Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses


2019-07-13 05:07:56

Liz Hersey

Popular Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts HousesOnl

Most of us know Ryan Murphy as the TV Renaissance man behind anthology series American Horror Story and American Crime Story, as well as the smash-hit musical series Glee. However, few remember Murphy’s first series, the WB teen dramedy, Popular.

Popular chronicles the trials and tribulations of two warring high school cliques: the beautiful, blonde popular ones and the brunette outcasts—who also happen to all look like models. The series hardly lived up to its name, airing only two seasons. However, with its off-the-wall blend of teenage melodrama and campy, non-sequitur humor, Popular has since developed a modest cult following.

RELATED: 5 Best Couples On Glee (And 5 Of The Worst)

Whether they like it or not, the Popular teens are defined and judged by whichever clique they belong to. In this regard, Kennedy High isn’t dissimilar to Harry Potter‘s Hogwarts. There, students are sorted into one of four houses—Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Slytherin, or Hufflepuff—based on their personalities. If Brooke, Sam, and all their pals were to show up at Hogwarts, would they view their new house as a fresh start…or just the same old pigeonholing? Here are the Popular Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses.

10 Brooke McQueen – Ravenclaw

Brooke McQueen is living the teen dream. She’s head cheerleader, at the top of her class and at the beginning of the series, is dating the eligible Josh Ford. Yes indeed, it appears Brooke’s life is sheer perfection—which is exactly what she wants you to think.

Ravenclaws view everything through an academic lens. Thus, Brooke treats popularity like a school subject in which she’s determined to get an A+. Often, this means acting against her own interests. When she was younger, Brooke developed an eating disorder because she thought if she achieved “perfection”, her mom would return after having abandoned her. For all her Ravenclaw logic, Brooke still hasn’t deduced the best way to make herself happy.

9 Samantha “Sam” McPherson – Gryffindor

As a hard-nosed student journalist, Sam McPherson is defiantly unpopular. She’d rather die than eat lunch with the football players and cheerleaders. Gryffindors pride themselves on their ability to go against the grain. However, it is forever their paradox that they strive to stand out, but also desperately want to fit in. On the record, Sam loathes Brooke and her cronies for the choke-hold they have on the school. But off the record, Sam envies all that Brooke has and would give anything for an invitation to eat lunch with the cool kids.

Sam always has some scheme up her sleeve and it usually has to do with exposing the popular kids for the monsters she perceives them to be. But ever the Gryffindor, Sam doesn’t always think things through and her plans often blow up in her face. What she wouldn’t give for a Time-Turner…

8 Nicole Julian – Slytherin

No teen show is complete without the presence of the wicked cheerleader. Nicole Julian checks that box, thank you. She’s the Draco Malfoy of Kennedy High—a privileged blonde whose favorite pastime is ridiculing those she deems unattractive, unpopular, or poor. Like with Malfoy, the Sorting Hat would barely touch Nicole’s head before yelling out, “SLYTHERIN!” Which is just as well. Nicole doesn’t need some ratty hand-me-down hat messing up her blonde tresses.

RELATED: Riverdale Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

Nicole, a reader of Machiavelli and Sun Tzu, has no qualms about destroying lives to get what she wants. This sassy Slytherin even gets April Tuna thrown into juvie in order to steal her class presidency. Nicole is one Avada Kedavra away from becoming She Who Must Not Be Named.

7 Carmen Ferrara – Hufflepuff

For most students at Kennedy, cliques are a religion. But Carmen Ferrara doesn’t see people as their labels; she sees them as individuals. Carmen is accepting of everyone, as is the Hufflepuff way. Hufflepuffs also believe that hard work is all you need to succeed, and can be a little naïve to the harsher ways of the world. Carmen genuinely believes she’ll nab a spot on the cheerleading squad because she’s a gifted dancer. When she doesn’t make the cut due to lack of status, she’s especially crushed because she didn’t see it coming.

But as easy as it may be to knock a Hufflepuff down, they’re never down for the count. Their sheer optimism brings them back to life. Carmen keeps trying and ends up earning her place on the squad. Go, Team Hufflepuff!

6 Josh Ford – Hufflepuff

The Hufflepuff mascot may be the badger, but Josh Ford is more like a golden retriever—eager to please and loyal to a fault. More than anything, Josh wants to star in the school musical. Alas, he fears judgment from his football teammates and his father. Hufflepuffs are sensitive souls who crave approval. Josh displays rebelliousness rare for a Hufflepuff and carries on with the musical, but is crushed when his dad walks out.

Hufflepuffs aren’t always known for their academic prowess and Josh is hardly the brightest flood light on the football field. Still, he’s always eager to try and learn new things, making him one of the most likable jocks television has ever seen.

5 Harrison John – Gryffindor

If Nicole is the Malfoy of the Popular world, Harrison John is the Ron Weasley. Like Ron, Harrison is generally good-natured, if not dissatisfied with his lot in life. He yearns for a muscular physique and better social status and carries a lifelong torch for Brooke.

Harrison also shares Ron’s ineptitude in the romance department, which can be chocked up to a Gryffindor’s lack of long-term thinking. While in the hospital being treated for leukemia, Harrison has a revelation that he’s in love with Sam. However, when Brooke finally reciprocates romantic feelings for Harrison, a romance with her is too tempting to pass up. Thus, Harrison finds himself in the midst of a love triangle, entirely of his own Gryffindor making.

4 Mary Cherry – Slytherin

Mary Cherry is a southern belle who comes from serious money. Slytherin-level money. Despite having no dancing skills, Mary Cherry is essentially able to buy her way onto the cheerleading squad and into the popular clique. Wealth is all she knows. When Mary Cherry was broke for a hot second, she got a job in the cafeteria, only to blow all her money on makeup that same day.

RELATED: Popular Cast: Where Are They Now?

She frequently decrees, “I’ll do anything to be popular…anything.” Mary Cherry may not have Nicole’s cunning, but she display Slytherin ruthlessness all the same. Other characters frequently joke about her serial killer-like tendencies. Mary Cherry would make the most outlandish Death Eater ever, y’all.

3 Lily Esposito – Gryffindor

Like Hermione had S.P.E.W., Lily Esposito always has a cause she’s fighting for. This Gryffindor activist never backs down, frequently challenging authority figures. Lily refuses to dissect a frog in biology class, so Ms. Glass forces her to carry around a dead frog in an effort to humiliate her. But Ms. Glass doesn’t know who she’s messing with, and the punishment just fuels Lily’s fire.

Though smarter than most of her peers, Lily has the Gryffindor tendency to serve her emotions rather than logic. The end of the series finds her in a serious relationship with Josh and when it looks like he has to move away, Lily comes up with the cockamamie idea that they should get married. Their teenage nuptials have disastrous consequences that anybody could have predicted—anybody but a lovestruck Gryffindor.

2 Michael “Sugar Daddy” Bernardino – Gryffindor

A jovial football player and Josh’s best friend, Sugar Daddy can always be counted on to entertain with some rapping or by taking Mary Cherry for a spin on the dance floor. Like many of the characters, Sugar Daddy deals with body issues. Gryffindors don’t always enjoy facing their internal struggles and Sugar Daddy masks his by making himself the life of the party.

When Sugar Daddy is refused a spot on the wrestling team because of his weight, he’s given a fight or flight choice. As a Gryffindor, Sugar Daddy chooses to fight, bravely seeking out the help he needs.

1 Roberta “Bobbi” Glass – Ravenclaw

If Luna Lovegood grew up to be a curmudgeonly science teacher, she’d be Bobbi Glass. Ms. Glass is known for her oddball Ravenclaw randomness. She’ll not-so-subtly share her kinky proclivities with her students and if the mood strikes, Ms. Glass will cancel regular class in favor of putting on a play about sexually transmitted diseases.

While it may seem that Ms. Glass doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her, she has a much thinner skin than Luna. Due to her deep voice and masculine wardrobe, students address Ms. Glass as “sir”. She answers to it but later reveals that she’s hurt by the moniker. Still, nothing will stop Ms. Glass from marching to the beat of her own Ravenclaw drum.

NEXT: Mean Girls Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses


2019-07-13 05:07:56

Liz Hersey

10 Veronica Mars Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

Part Nancy Drew, part Dawson’s Creek noir, Veronica Mars was a breath of fresh air when it debuted on the now-defunct UPN in 2004. It ran for two seasons on the network before UPN and WB merged to create the CW, where the show had one more season.

The series followed the title character while she attended high school in Neptune, a small California town. At one time she was part of the in-crowd, but the murder of her best friend and her father’s fall from grace as the local Sherriff made her the target of harassment at school. While she moonlighted as an assistant to her private eye father, Veronica also had to survive the high school social scene.

With so many mysteries and criminal activity, fans would be quick to think Veronica Mars was full of Neptune residents that belonged in Slytherin – the Hogwarts house of the ambitious and sneaky. They wouldn’t be wrong. There are also plenty of Hufflepuffs (the loyal and hardworking), Ravenclaws (the logical and knowledge-seeking), and even a Gryffindor (the brave and the reckless).

RELATED: The 10 Best Guest Stars On Veronica Mars, Ranked

10 Wallace Fennel: Hufflepuff

The audience’s first glimpse of Wallace was a kid duct-taped to a flagpole. Veronica cut him down, and from that moment, a beautiful friendship was born.

That friendship gave the audience a hint at what Wallace’s Hogwarts house was destined to be: Hufflepuff. Wallace was always willing to do favors for Veronica, no matter how much trouble he could get in. How many permanent files did he “borrow” from the school’s administrative office for Veronica? The rest of us lost count.

Wallace also put his mother and his little brother first. He ran back into a house with a gas leak so they wouldn’t have to. Wallace also got Keith Mars to get rid of his mom’s troublesome tenant to keep his family safe.

9 Stosh Piznarski: Ravenclaw

Piz was pretty straightforward with his feelings and his actions when he joined Veronica Mars in season three. He wasn’t one of the people jumping into the mysteries or the fights. Those ideas rule him out as Slytherin or Gryffindor. His loyalty could land him in Hufflepuff, but his logical attitude leans more toward Ravenclaw – as does his encyclopedic knowledge of music.

Piz was one of the few characters introduced later in Veronica Mars who could keep up with Veronica’s wit. He wasn’t quite at her level when it came to working out mysteries, though he was pretty great at reading human behavior. Ravenclaw is the best fitting house.

8 Duncan Kane: Slytherin

Compared to his peer group in the early episodes of the series, Duncan seemed like a good guy. He wasn’t bullying his classmates, and he wasn’t rubbing his status in anyone’s face. The difference was that Duncan, as Veronica later pointed out, spent his time “standing idly by” while everyone else performed horrific acts. That inaction showed Duncan’s desire to preserve his status, just like a true Slytherin.

RELATED: Veronica Mars: The 5 Best (& 5 Worst) Couples

Duncan also was intent on covering up the events surrounding his sister’s murder – even though he didn’t know what they were. Gaps existed in his memory when he found her body, gaps made more likely as a result of his type of epilepsy and the antidepressants he took. When a hallucination of Lilly made him believe he might uncover more while off his meds, he promptly began taking them again. Duncan wanted to hide the truth (even from himself) to protect him from the fact that he might have killed his sister.

7 Lilly Kane: Hufflepuff

Though the audience never got to see her in action in the present storyline, it was clear that Lilly Kane was the family wild child. Veronica’s memories of her made her sound like a master manipulator, but that wasn’t entirely true. Lilly was good at keeping secrets and going after what she wanted. Ultimately, her motivation was always her relationship with her best friend. Lilly was a surprising Hufflepuff.

Despite Veronica not being one of the rich kids, Lilly made sure she was never left out of the biggest parties. She supported Veronica when her boyfriend and his friends teased her. Lilly even protected her from secrets that could harm her, like Duncan believing Veronica was their half-sister. She didn’t betray her brother’s trust, and she also didn’t hurt Veronica with the information. Lilly did her best to do what she thought was right for both of them.

6 Weevil Navarro: Hufflepuff

Another surprising Hufflepuff in Veronica Mars came in the form of Eli Navarro AKA Weevil. Weevil might have broken a lot of laws in his day, but he lived his life by a code. He protected those who helped him out. Weevil never went after those who couldn’t defend themselves – unless they were a snitch. Eli’s trouble-making ways came as a result of his loyalty to the PCH motorcycle gang and providing for his family. He still wanted to make his grandmother proud by graduating high school, and he even confessed to a crime he didn’t commit to keep his grandmother from out of jail.

RELATED: Veronica Mars: 10 Unanswered Questions the New Season Can Answer

Weevil also kept Lilly’s secrets so her reputation wouldn’t be ruined, and refused to get Logan in trouble on multiple occasions, even though their relationship had never been the greatest.

5 Jackie Cook: Slytherin

Before she was a Valkyrie or a member of the Men In Black, Tessa Thompson was the daughter of a Neptune baseball player. She played Jackie for season two of Veronica Mars.

RELATED: 10 Roles Tessa Thompson Kicks Butt In Other Than Valkyrie

Jackie was a new addition to Neptune High. She moved to spend more time with her father. Veronica always suspected there was something fishy in her life even though the two became friends. The truth was that Jackie’s mother was a waitress in New York who had a one night stand with a famous baseball player. Jackie also had a son her mother was raising. Though Jackie wanted so badly to be more than just a waitress, she moved back to New York to raise her son and be there for her mother. She exhibited some serious Hufflepuff tendencies even though her scheming, social climbing, and pragmatic approach to life in Neptune make her a Slytherin.

4 Cindy Mackenzie: Ravenclaw

Mac was Neptune’s resident computer genius. She never met a system she couldn’t hack into. Could she be anything other than a Ravenclaw?

Mac went through some serious trauma over the course of the show. She discovered she was switched at birth with another infant. Her first serious boyfriend turned out to be psychotic. Mac just couldn’t catch a break. Like the people she remained close with (Veronica and Wallace) in the series though, Mac didn’t let her traumas stop her from searching for truth. She kept expanding her knowledge of technology and helping Veronica with difficult cases whenever she could.

3 Logan Echolls: Gryffindor

Quick to jump to conclusions, reckless, and never met a fight he could just walk away from. That hot-tempered personality of Logan’s is a perfect fit for a Gryffindor who loves to be at the center of attention.

At first glance, Logan Echolls didn’t seem like a brave and noble guy. He constantly made fun of Veronica and used his rich kid status to get himself out of trouble. All of that attitude was a mask for his unhappiness. When push came to shove, Logan routinely tried to do what he thought was the right thing. He confessed to a prank to make sure Weevil didn’t get expelled, routinely covered for his friends, and assisted in investigations. As he and Veronica grew closer, he even saved her life a time or two.

2 Dick Casablancas: Hufflepuff

Dick Casablancas, like most of the 09ers, didn’t give the audience the best first impression. Like all the guys from the prestigious 90909 zip code, he relied on his privilege to escape any kind of trouble. He also participated in a lot of the bullying in Neptune High, which might be why it’s surprising to see him as a Hufflepuff.

Dick was the kind of guy who goes along with the crowd. If his friends were doing something stupid, he was right there in the thick of it. He only acted so horrible because so many of his friends did – not to mention his father. Most of his behavior was learned by the examples set for him. He did have one huge spot of loyalty. For Logan Echolls, Dick would do anything. He’s the one person that Dick could always count on, and who could always count on him. As Logan made a turn for the better, so did he. 

1 Veronica Mars: Ravenclaw

Veronica exhibited a lot of Slytherin tendencies in the series. She could lie, scheme, and con with the best of them. Veronica also didn’t love being knocked to the bottom of the Neptune socioeconomic spectrum in the first season. Despite that, her work as a detective definitely sorts her into Ravenclaw.

Veronica absorbed information like a sponge and could logic out solutions like nobody else. History test the next morning, but need to investigate some leads in a murder investigation? Veronica could do it, no problem. Even when sleeping through her English class after a late-night of taking photos for a case, Veronica could still answer all the questions thrown at her. As someone who always had to know the truth, no matter how much digging it took to get to it, Veronica was definitely a Ravenclaw.

It’s true that sometimes the perception of the sorting hat can change over time. Perhaps some of these characters shouldn’t have been sorted into these particular Hogwarts houses, and we’ll find out in season four of Veronica Mars on Hulu.

NEXT: 10 Veronica Mars Quotes That We Can All relate To


2019-07-12 03:07:36

Amanda Bruce

‘Lost’ Characters Sorted Into Hogwarts Houses

Lost, a drama television series that came on from 2004 to 2010, was about the survivors of a commercial jet airliner that crashed onto a strange island. This TV show has been called one of the greatest of all time, and it won numerous awards, due to the sci-fi elements, the exciting story and the intriguing characters. Another popular story out there is Harry Potter’s, a magical one told through a book and a film series, and today, we are combining these two worlds…

If the characters from Lost went to Hogwarts, which houses would they all end up in, we wonder? Let’s find out and discuss, here and now!

RELATED: 10 Facts About Nagini That Most Fans Don’t Know

10 Jack – Gryffindor

It is no doubt that Jack would be a Gryffindor. People sorted into this house are natural-born leaders, and Jack instantly became in charge on the island. Immediately, the other survivors turned to him for support and guidance. It also definitely helps that he has medical experience!

He may have complained at times – just as Harry, the most famous Gryffindor, may have not always wanted to be known as The Boy Who Lived – but both of these men are brave, strong, smart and capable of doing anything they set their minds to and tackling any challenge set before them.

9 Kate – Gryffindor

Let’s be honest here: Kate has some Slytherin traits, but on the island, when everyone knew her, she was a Gryffindor. These people can be described as brave, daring and athletic, and these are words that can describe this gal, too. She never backs down, she is always right up in the action, and she doesn’t take anything from anyone.

RELATED: 10 Unsolved Mysteries From The Harry Potter Canon

Physically, mentally and emotionally, Kate is one of the strongest characters on this show and on TV in general. She also stepped into a leadership role on the island, sort of the like the Hermione to Jack’s Harry.

8 Sawyer – Slytherin

Sawyer would probably be proud to be sorted into this house! He is sort of an outcast, with his sarcasm and lone wolf vibe. But he is actually quite smart (and a lover of books, as well), and Slytherins can be resourceful, cunning, determined and clever.

He, too, became a leader during this crazy time, yet like a true Slytherin, he has a streak of self-preservation in him. That being said, there were times when Sawyer made some selfish decisions. In the end, though, all of these characters became like family, and he is really a sweetheart (like Draco may be, deep down).

7 Locke – Ravenclaw

Locke certainly had quite the transformation on the island, but we won’t get into all of that; all we will say is that this man seems like a Ravenclaw. He is super smart, he is quite original, and he is very accepting.

In flashbacks, he see a man who had a rough life yet who was a decent human. On the island, as he was learning more about himself and this place, he was spreading knowledge, helping those in need and trying to do what was best. Regardless of how that all worked out, he has some definite traits of this Hogwarts house.

6 Hurley – Hufflepuff

Hurley is a fan fave, as well as a Hufflepuff. Traits found in this house include dedication, hardworking, fair, modesty and loyal. From the beginning, Hurley has been someone people could rely on.

RELATED: 10 TV Shows That Were Incredibly Expensive To Make

He is another just generally decent guy, who does what is right, who does not complain all that much and who can be trusted. After all, he ends up being the protector of the island, proving that he is a kind, strong and smart person capable of such a job. Hufflepuffs may not be the bravest or the strongest, but they are great to have around!

5 Charlie – Slytherin

The Sorting Hat had some trouble here but finally placed Charlie in Slytherin. This house can be known as the not-so-nice one, but the people in it have some good traits. For instance, Charlie is certainly resourceful and clever.

With his music career alone, he showed some ambition. He has some leadership qualities, as he was in the elite group on the island and picked to do some big jobs (which we can’t talk about, since we don’t want to cry right now about that boat situation). He did show self-preservation, though, like Sawyer and like when it came to his addiction.

4 Sayid – Hufflepuff

Sayid is full of wisdom and acceptance, like a Ravenclaw. He is a brave leader, like a Gryffindor. He also has resourcefulness and determination, like a Slytherin. But overall, this man seems like a Hufflepuff.

He is certainly dedicated and hardworking, and all of the survivors owe him so much. Despite all he went through in life, he is a kind and fair man, with a big heart. And even though he has some unique skills – the ones that many turned to many times on the island – he is always so modest, which makes people like him even more.

3 Desmond – Ravenclaw

Ravenclaws are the smart kids in school, so Desmond would fall into this category. Of course, it can be hard to place anyone inside a box, especially complex characters like these. But think about what Des had to do for so long… It required intelligence, creativity and wisdom.

RELATED: 10 Things JK Rowling Planned On Including In Harry Potter (But Ended Up Scrapping)

And after he was introduced to everyone else on the island and after he got to know them, he was accepting, becoming part of this unique family unit. Yes, if he were to attend Hogwarts, he would surely be placed into this house, alongside Locke (and Luna and Cho!).

2 Claire – Hufflepuff

Claire is another sweetheart, and while she did not become a go-to leader on the island, she showed off positive traits like those found in Hufflepuffs. She is a dedicated and loyal person, who was close to the other main characters (some more than others!).

She is fair and patient, showing kindness and tolerance to all and being a really good friend, mother and supporter. While she certainly had some interesting moments on the island (we’ll forgive her for those low times!), it is clear that she is one of the good ones, like those sorted into this house are.

1 Ben – Slytherin

It seems pretty for sure that Ben would get sorted into this house here. He is one of the most resourcefulness and cunning characters on television! Plus, no matter what his current plan or goal or strategy was, he was showing ambition and determination, and like it or not, he was a true leader.

Ben did have some good ideas and some good moments, and in the end, he was kind of one of us… sort of. But one can never tell when it comes to those clever Slytherins – to people like this man right here!

NEXT: Myers-Briggs® Personality Types Of Your Favorite Lost Characters


2019-04-22 01:04:10

Bri Thomas

Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina Characters Sorted Into Hogwarts Houses

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is a macabre and fantastic Netflix series that highlights the darkness of witchcraft in a way that the Harry Potter series only condemns to evil witches and wizards like Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. While the dichotomy of good versus evil is handled with a deft hand at Hogwarts and J.K. Rowling is incredible with toeing the line to make her characters much more realistic with human flaws, we have to admit the dark nature of Sabrina is delightful to watch.

RELATED: What to Expect From Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Season 2

That’s not to say that every witch and warlock in the series is of the Slytherin variety, however. In fact, many of the characters in the show are far from Voldemort’s House, demonstrating the qualities of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw instead.

10 Zelda Spellman: Slytherin

While Sabrina’s Aunt Zelda has definitely demonstrated more loyal qualities, putting family first in recent episodes and even defying her beloved Father Blackwood to the point of being imprisoned, she’s still a Slytherin to her core. An ideal witch in the Church of Night, Zelda knows her place, deeply desires to please the Dark Lord and ultimately embraces everything dark and evil in her life, even if it means taking away her niece’s happiness.

Zelda might embrace duty and tradition but she also puts herself first on a regular basis, especially when it comes to dalliances with Blackwood while his wife is pregnant. Miranda Otto is pretty much as far from Eowyn as she can get in this role.

9 Harvey Kinkle: Hufflepuff

While Harvey, Sabrina’s ex-boyfriend, exhibits some Gryffindor-like qualities in terms of his willingness to dive into the mines to find his brother despite his own worst fears, he ultimately values fair play and patience above bravery. He works hard when his zombie brother returns to him, patiently waiting on him to fully return, and when he finds out the truth he is hurt and angry over the unfairness of the situation.

RELATED: Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina Review: A Devilishly Fun Mix Of Camp & Horror

A Gryffindor might understand Sabrina’s situation better, but Harvey, who does put up with a lot when it comes to his secretive girlfriend in the first part of Sabrina, is more of a salt-of-the-Earth kind of guy who will make someone a steadfast husband someday. He’s just not cut out for adventuring. It’s kind of hard to see why Sabrina would dismiss her dark baptism and put the town through all of its terror over a, let’s face it, basic boyfriend like Harvey, especially in a series as feminist as this one.

8 Rosalind Walker: Ravenclaw

Roz is one of the smartest young women in her school. As she challenges banned books, attempts to help her friends reason out their problems and tackles her own issues like her pending blindness and The Cunning she’s been gifted with, we see her make passionate yet sound decisions. Even when she’s faced with her own feelings for Harvey, she uses her logic to reason out why and why not it’s a good idea.

Unlike Harvey, who reacted to Sabrina’s powers with a total knee-jerk response, Roz accepted her powers after logically figuring them out on her own and assessing them, even after she had misgivings of her own.

7 Hilda Spellman: Hufflepuff

Loyal, earnest and true, Hilda Spellman is the epitome of a Hufflepuff. Sure, she knows her way around some poison and she talks to spiders, but she knows that family and friends come first. She’s so adamant that Sabrina maintain her friendships at her human school that she even visits the new principal–who happens to be Lilith, of course–and tries to rope her in on a plan to get Sabrina to return to school to nurture her friendships and happiness.

RELATED: 10 Questions We Have After The ‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: Part 2’ Teaser

Kind and generous Hilda has consistently put her loved ones before her own self, even while excommunicated from the church, which makes her a true Hufflepuff.

6 Prudence: Slytherin

At one point in the first part of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, we might have considered Prudence more of a Ravenclaw. She definitely exhibited some keen planning, especially in terms of revenge plots. Her willingness to be sacrificed during the Feast of Feasts kind of negates her other decisions, though, and as we’ve seen since, we know that she’s all about what’s good for herself, ultimately making her a Slytherin.

Even when Prudence recognizes how terrible her father is, she still seeks his approval in order to obtain status as his legitimate child. It’s only when she realizes that he’ll never care for her when she acts against him.

5 Ambrose Spellman: Ravenclaw

Ambrose may exhibit many of the self-serving, cunning qualities of a Slytherin, but his keen intellect and willingness to learn new things and share that knowledge with Sabrina make him more of a Ravenclaw. Sabrina comes to Ambrose when she needs assistance not only because she trusts him but because she knows how much he values knowledge and sharing it with his cousin.

RELATED: Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina Part 2 Review: Take A Walk On The Dark Side

Those who recall the sitcom Sabrina series may recognize some of Sabrina’s cat Salem’s wit, humor and knowledge present in the character Ambrose in the new series. He pretty much replaced the human-like characteristics of her familiar.

4 Nick Scratch: Gryffindor

Wait a moment, you might be thinking: wasn’t Nick a traitor who only befriended and supported Sabrina at the demand of Satan? Well, yes, that’s true, as we discovered in Part 2 of the series.

But Nick Scratch, whose name always gave away his position (think “Old Scratch”), also not only bravely stood by Sabrina when it meant possible danger or ridicule for himself, but he also sacrificed himself for her in the end, proving that even though he’d bee working like a Slytherin for the most part, he was also brave and selfless in a way that Harvey’s really never been for Sabrina. (To be fair, he did demonstrate those qualities for his brother.)

3 Theo Putnam: Gryffindor

Why are there so many Gryffindors in Greendale? We have a theory that many teens act like Gryffindors while their hormones and frontal lobes settle, but we also think that Theo Putnam, formerly known as Susie, is a Gryffindor at heart. Theo definitely exhibits the qualities of a Hufflepuff, living as a true friend to all the people he loves, but he also bravely faces his bullies head-on without even flinching.

RELATED: What To Expect From Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Season 3

Watching Theo try out for the basketball team despite the odds was amazing, even if he did receive some clandestine help from Sabrina. Theo is easily one of the bravest and most fiercely loyal characters on the show.

2 Madam Satan: Slytherin

Lilith, AKA Madam Satan, is someone we love to hate but want to love. A feminist character, she fights for the rights of her students even when it really doesn’t matter to her, and she helps Sabrina even while she’s thwarting the young witch in ways that confound us. She’s a Slytherin to the core, ultimately acting in her own best interest and creating devious schemes to get what she wants.

We may even discover that Lilith was Severus Snape all along with all of the lines that she keeps crossing and the various people in her life, including her own beloved Dark Lord, that she plays. She’s a double agent if there ever was one.

1 Sabrina Spellman: Ravenclaw

Sabrina Spellman is a complicated witch to sort. She exhibits the qualities from all Houses in the show: she bravely and fearlessly defends her town and loved ones like a Gryffindor, craftily attempts to walk both the worlds of the witch and the human a la Slytherin but is also a true and loyal friend who always supports those she loves like a Hufflepuff.

Ultimately it’s Sabrina’s brain that makes her a Ravenclaw. Not only does she continually come up with schemes that enable her to skirt around the witch laws and Satan’s demands, but she also devises plans to help Theo at school, save Harvey’s father from drinking himself into an early grave and puts an incredible amount of thought into everything she does.

NEXT: Every Riverdale Connection in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Season 2


2019-04-20 07:04:17

Sara Schmidt

Girls Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

The struggle is real. HBO’s Girls centers around the lives of millennial Hannah Horvath and her friends as they navigate the world of post-college adulthood. Girls creator Lena Dunham completely captured the millennial generation, warts and all. Hannah grew up being told she could be anything she wants, without learning the independence to get herself there. She and her pals walk that fine line between freedom and aimlessness, often leaning towards the latter.

In stark contrast, the youth of Harry Potter have much of their path carved out for them by the age of eleven. As soon as they arrive at Hogwarts, they are sorted into one of four houses—Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw—based on their personalities and aptitudes.

If Hannah and her fellow millennials were to Uber to Hogwarts, which houses would they be sorted into? Here are the Girls Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses.

10 Hannah Horvath – Gryffindor

Hannah flits from whim to whim like a hummingbird in a flower garden. Just when people expect her to zig, she zags. Sometimes she’s being gutsy and courageous, like when she realizes teaching isn’t right for her and quits—and, let’s face it—doing her students a solid, as she really was a terrible teacher. However, other times Hannah was just a thoughtless hot mess, like when her publisher died and she tried to talk business with his grieving widow…at the funeral. These are the two sides of the Gryffindor coin. As the series progresses and Hannah matures, she learns that choices can be both brave and well thought out.

RELATED: Girls: How Will The Series Be Remembered?

It’s a minor miracle the internet didn’t explode with all the debate over Hannah’s nudity. If anyone’s not afraid of getting naked, it’s a Gryffindor. Sometimes Hannah was trying to be deliberately provocative and other times she just wanted to feel free. Many criticized her au natural scenes as gratuitous, where others found them to be an inspiring win for body positivity. Millennial Gryffindors love to give people something to argue about…over soy flat whites.

9 Marnie Michaels – Slytherin

Lots of relationships came and went on Girls. Some were solid and others were doomed from the start. However, none had more undying love and mutual adoration than Marnie’s relationship with herself. The woman is Narcissus personified. Everything Marnie does is to serve her own means, even when she’s seemingly helping other people. She helped organize Hannah’s birthday party, only to strong-arm the reluctant Hannah into singing “Take Me or Leave Me”, just so Marnie could show off her singing skills.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Reasons Slytherin Is The Best House (And 10 Why Gryffindor Is)

Slytherins divide their time equally between admiring themselves and eviscerating others. Though Marnie has plenty to be annoyed with Hannah about—like never paying rent—Marnie often treats her “best friend” as a verbal punching bag. No aspect of Hannah’s life, from her appearance to career path, is safe from Marnie’s eviscerating judgment. Doesn’t ‘Marnie Malfoy’ just roll off the tongue?

8 Jessa Johansson – Gryffindor

The only thing predictable about Jessa is that she will never be predictable. Long ago, her ego and superego moved out of her brain to make room for more id. She marries a man she barely knows. One day Jessa works at a children’s clothing store; the next she’s an artist’s assistant. She goes on drug benders with her father. Later in the series, when many have written Jessa off as a wild child with Peter Pan Syndrome, she cleans up her act. This involves getting sober and declaring she will become a therapist. Oh yeah, then she has a secret relationship with Adam, Hannah’s ex.

Jessa is all over the Marauder’s Map. She never met a consequence she didn’t disregard. That would take all the fun out of being the quintessential Gryffindor daredevil. While her promises may not mean much, Jessa Johansson solemnly swears she’s up to no good.

7 Shoshanna Shapiro – Ravenclaw

Shoshanna is a unicorn in a stable of self-absorbed horses. Though she has her whiny moments, Shosh is always chipper and optimistic, rarely lamenting about what a raw deal life has thrown at her. She approached her college studies with Ravenclaw-like dedication. Upon graduation, Shoshanna was determined to get a well-paying job so as to avoid the financial woes of her friends.

RELATED: Girls: 15 Things The Final Season Got Right

Ravenclaws are known for their bluntness. Sometimes their honesty is appreciated; other times, it’s awkward and inappropriate. Shoshanna really should have kept her mouth shut in her job interview, when she told her potential employer that this was her “back-up job”. However, Shoshanna’s candor is what makes her a fan favorite, like in the infamous “Beach Party” episode where she drunkenly calls out every member of her group. If anyone knows how to give a Luna Lovegood mic drop, it’s Shoshanna Shapiro.

6 Adam Sackler – Gryffindor

Adam grabs life with an iron-like grip of intensity. He attacks his passions the way Hermione attacks a textbook. However, when things get rough, Adam just quits. He’s in a play and there’s conflict with his co-star? The show’s canceled. Adam gets lonely when Hannah’s at school in Iowa? He invites Mimi-Rose Howard to move in…to Hannah’s apartment. Gryffindors tend to live for the moment, only to get distracted by the next moment.

Still, Gryffindors can show remarkable caring and generosity. He shows his love for Jessa time and again, though in a typical bad-boy Gryffindor fashion, Adam’s last episode sees him leaving her for Hannah. However, Hannah and Adam decide not to pursue a relationship. They both know better than to tame his wild, Gryffindor spirit.

5 Ray Ploshansky – Hufflepuff

As the admitted “old man” of the group, Ray can be a bit of curmudgeon. But playing father-figure to a cadre of entitled twenty-somethings is a total drag, so Ray can be forgiven for not always thinking the world is sunshine and rainbows. However, this hipster Eeyore is full of nothing but loyalty to his friends. He’s hired several of them as baristas at Grumpy’s, only to be met with ingratitude and laziness—”That’s not how work works!”. Still, when anyone is in a jam, Ray is there to help, like after Hannah’s hitchhiking fiasco. If somebody needs a favor, Hufflepuffs are always the first to get the call.

Hufflepuff Ray knows what it means to be “unafraid of toil”. When a new traffic light made the noise outside his apartment unbearable, Ray ran for city council and won. Between the car honks and his whiny friends, Ray would certainly savor the quiet of the Hufflepuff common room.

4 Elijah Krantz – Hufflepuff

At the other end of the Hufflepuff spectrum is Elijah. Though he radiates selfishness, Elijah is always a true-blue friend to Hannah. When her relationship with Adam goes up in flames, Elijah moves in with her to help cover the rent. Hufflepuffs often find themselves as ersatz therapists to their friends and Elijah plays that role for the entire Horvath family. After Tad comes out as gay, Elijah takes him under his wing. He also becomes Loreen’s drinking buddy when she becomes understandably upset about the state of her marriage.

RELATED: MBTI® of Girls Characters

Hufflepuffs aren’t known to be worriers and Elijah is by far the least neurotic member of his group. He’s too busy having fun. Life’s a party and even if he’s not invited, Elijah will just crash.

3 Desi Harperin – Slytherin

Desi is an actor whose greatest performance is pretending to give a hoot about other people. He and fellow actor Adam seem to be in competition as to who is the flakiest, but at least Adam cares about his romantic partners before he leaves them, like when he paid for Jessa’s school. On the other hand, Desi is nothing but a taker like when he took $2000 dollars of his and Marnie’s money and spent it on guitar pedals. Or when he refused to let them sell merch on tour because it was too capitalist. While Desi doesn’t display a Slytherin’s outward cruelty—or business sense—there’s no doubting that he’s a snake in the grass.

2 Loreen Horvath – Ravenclaw

Loreen is a professor who tries to educate Hannah in the ways of adulthood. It was Loreen who made the decision to cut her daughter off financially, in the hopes that Hannah would learn to fend for herself. Ravenclaws are intelligent and independent, so it makes sense that they would their kids to be as well.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 15 Things You Didn’t Know About House Ravenclaw

Loreen is thrown for the ultimate loop when Tad comes out, and it leaves a wound that never fully heals. Like a good baby boomer, Loreen did everything she was supposed to and when that still didn’t work out, she becomes as lost as the most directionless millennial. But Loreen will always be a mom, as she showed in the series finale when she became Grandma-to-the-rescue, helping out with Hannah’s newborn. Loreen let Hannah in on a secret, that parenthood is hard work—who knew? To the bitter end, Loreen can always be counted on for some sound Ravenclaw advice.

1 Tad Horvath – Hufflepuff

Hufflepuffs are forever trying to keep the peace and Tad tries to keep his family life as conflict-free as possible. This dear-hearted dad calls his daughter “Hannah-Banana” and he expressed major reservations about no longer paying her bills. While their intentions are good, Hufflepuffs don’t always realize that coddling someone in the short-term will only hurt them in the long-term. Tad’s over-generosity towards Hannah is a major contribution to her lack of independence, according to Loreen—and the viewers.

Tad, like many a Hufflepuff, puts others before himself. However, when one represses their own needs and desires for too long, they tend to bubble to the surface in unexpected and inappropriate ways. After years of hiding his sexuality, Tad blurted out he was gay right before Loreen’s tenure party. From here, their marriage predictably went off the rails but Tad was able to keep an optimistic attitude and wound up in a happy, committed relationship. If Girls taught Tad anything, it’s that sometimes it’s okay to be a little bit selfish.

NEXT: Mad Men Character Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses


2019-04-19 09:04:05

Liz Hersey

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

It’s a miracle! Netflix’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is about a woman navigating the confusing, overwhelming real world after being abducted and held in an underground bunker for fifteen years. This sounds like a rather dark premise, but Kimmy Schmidt is one of the most hilarious, hopeful shows on TV. Kimmy really is unbreakable, not allowing herself to mourn for the years lost, but embracing her freedom and all of life’s small pleasures in New York City.

Another hero grateful to escape his miserable circumstances for a magical new world is Harry Potter. Hagrid whisked him away from the abusive Dursleys and brought him to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. What would happen if Kimmy followed suit and rounded up her friends (and enemies) and transported them to the world of Harry Potter? If Times Square made Kimmy giddy, she’d be bouncing off the walls during the Sorting Hat Ceremony. What houses would the hysterical, disparate souls of Kimmy Schmidt find themselves in? Here are Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses.

RELATED: Harry Potter: The Best And Worst Traits From Each Hogwarts House

10 Kimmy Schmidt – Hufflepuff

It takes the emotional buoyancy of a Hufflepuff to make it out of the bunker and still maintain a megawatt smile. Slytherins would vow revenge, Ravenclaws would calculate how much time they lost down to the millisecond, and Gryffindors would bemoan the SWAT team for rescuing them before they could escape for themselves. Not Hufflepuff Kimmy. She’s grateful for her freedom and though there’s some understandable emotional scarring, Kimmy grabs hold of her new life in the Big Apple and takes a bite.

Kimmy makes friendships right away, proving to her cynical New Yorker pals that Hufflepuff loyalty isn’t the stuff of fairy tales. However, like many Hufflepuffs before her, Kimmy can fall prey to people wanting to take advantage of her good nature. But Kimmy always bounces back. She sees the good in everyone—except the Reverend—and she has the ability to win over everyone she meets, even notorious grumpette Xanthippe. Not matter what life throws at her, Kimmy’s just happy to be alive…dammit!

RELATED: MBTI® Of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Characters

9 Titus Andromedon – Slytherin

While Titus may not be a wealthy man, he’s sure rich in ego. Not having a dime to his name doesn’t stop him from acting like a spoiled Slytherin. He treats Kimmy like an unpaid personal assistant, sending her out on a number of errands when he “can’t even” today.

Titus is so lazy he makes sloths look like Type-A marathon runners. He’ll only get off the couch to pursue his own selfish desires. When Titus wants to get cast on Sesame Street, he’s willing to endure the unmitigating agony of waking up before noon to stalk the casting director at an outdoor exercise class—the horror! Not only is Titus able to accomplish his goal, but he’s also able to steal someone’s snack in the process. Titus rewards himself with a self-congratulatory pat on the back…which happens to the Slytherins’ secret handshake.

RELATED: The 10 Funniest Shows on Netflix to Stream Right Now

8 Lillian Kaushtupper – Gryffindor

Lillian is stubborn as an ox, or a Gryffindor lion. Much like Hermione and her campaign for House Elf rights, Lillian will act out against anything she disagrees with in the most outrageous way possible. Her most impassioned cause? Fighting the gentrification of her beloved, sketchy East Dogmouth Neighborhood. She was turned into a viral YouTube laughing stock after she chained herself to a bulldozer in protest…even though workers still continued to use the bulldozer. But Gryffindor Lillian had the last laugh and she ended up nabbing a seat on city council, much to the chagrin of the other councilors.

Gryffindors are known to be wild and passionate. Lillian has a Russian novel’s worth of raunchy, TMI stories that she’s only too happy to share with Kimmy and Titus when she barges into their apartment. According to Gryffindors, rules are meant to be broken. Hence, Lillian looting from raccoons’ nests and using a hammer as a public transit pass.

RELATED: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 4 New Cast & Character Guide

7 Jacqueline White – Slytherin

Most Slytherins are born into an affluent life, but as Jacqueline wasn’t, she had to rely on her Slytherin cunning to get herself there. However, as much as Jacqueline enjoys her shallow, pure-blood life, she doesn’t allow it to cost her her self-worth. When her husband cheats on her with their couples’ therapist, Jacqueline divorces him, accepting the peasantly settlement of $12 million.

Slytherins often ensnare the gullible to do their dirty work, as demonstrated by Jacqueline, who takes advantage of Kimmy’s naïveté on several occasions. However, Jacqueline is a more than capable woman in her own right. As Titus’ talent agent, she was able to sell out tickets to the high school play he directed. Of course, Jacqueline accomplished this feat by lying to buyers, telling them it was a very trendy piece of “immersive theater”. Cockamamie fibs are always best delivered by a Slytherin.

RELATED: Will There Be An Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 5?

6 Cyndee Pokorny – Hufflepuff

Like Kimmy, Cyndee is a bubbly, upbeat person who is thrilled about her release from the bunker. However, now freed, they take totally different approaches to life. Kimmy tries to distance herself from her Mole Woman identity at all costs, but Cyndee embraces it. She’s the center of attention, gets a ton of free stuff, and nabs her grade-school crush, Brandon.

Cyndee may seem like a dopey hayseed, but she’s more clever than she lets on. When Titus learns Brandon is gay, he and Kimmy dread sharing the news with Cyndee. But it turns out Cyndee knows and doesn’t care. All that matters is that Brandon wants to be with her (out of pity). If anyone can find the silver lining, it’s a Hufflepuff.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 15 Things You Need To Know About Hufflepuff

5 Donna Maria Nuñez – Ravenclaw

What’s worse: being trapped in a bunker or being trapped in a bunker with a bunch of mega-giggly teenagers? How did Donna Maria not tear her hair out after the millionth reading of Dawn and the Surfer Ghost? She used her intelligence. Ravenclaws are proud loners and the Spanish-speaking Donna Maria pretended to not know any English in order to keep interactions with the other Mole Women to a minimum.

Like Cyndee, upon release, Donna Maria wanted to use her Mole Woman status to her advantage, but not for a life built on a lie. No, Donna Maria capitalized on her new fame by selling her punny brand of mole sauce.

 RELATED: 15 Things You Didn’t Know About House Ravenclaw

4 Gretchen Chalker – Slytherin

Not every Slytherin is an evil mastermind. Keep in mind, Voldemort needed mindless followers to be his Death Eaters. We can’t all be the Dark Lord, you know. In Kimmy Schmidt, Gretchen was the only Mole Woman to join the cult voluntarily. When the SWAT team rescued them, she didn’t want to leave. Beyond brainwashed, Gretchen only snapped out of it when the Reverend was proven guilty at his trial.

After this revelation, one might think Gretchen would start a new life like Kimmy or cash in on her teenage fantasies like Cyndee. But Gretchen is a Slytherin after all, so she decided to form her own cult. Given the chance, Gretchen would totally refashion the Slytherin common room into a bunker.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Reasons Slytherin Is The Best House (And 10 Why Gryffindor Is)

3 Mikey Politano – Hufflepuff

Mikey’s a sweet guy who enjoys a hard day’s work. Plus his name practically spells “polite”. How could he not be a Hufflepuff? Mikey’s new to the gay dating scene and is thrilled to enter a relationship with Titus. Though they have a strong connection, Titus and Mikey have very little in common. Mikey likes sports and Titus likes naps. Opposites attract, but can they really work long-term? Initially, Titus doesn’t think so and breaks up with a devastated Mikey. Mikey is heartbroken and says he’d do anything for Titus, a common sentiment for the loyal, loving Hufflepuff.

However, Titus quickly realizes this was a mistake and he sets out to win Mikey back. He succeeds and the two are married. Sweetheart Hufflepuffs like Mikey don’t come along every day.

RELATED: Orange is the New Black Inmates Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

2 Richard Wayne Gary Wayne/The Reverend/DJ Slizzard – Slytherin

He imprisoned four women in an underground bunker for fifteen years. Who else but a Slytherin could do that? As snakelike as he is, the Reverend sure doesn’t make his house proud. After all he was found guilty via an audition tape for The Apprentice. If that doesn’t make his fellow Slytherins hang their heads in shame, nothing will.

His arrogance knows no bounds, whether he’s the Reverend, or his alter-ego DJ Slizzard. DJ Slizzard thinks he’s cooler than Ice Cube, despite his Yelp reputation as “Durnsville’s Worst DJ”. However, he has at least one fan in dopey DJ Fingablast, who films a documentary about him. This inflates DJ Slizzard’s already ginormous Slytherin ego.

RELATED: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Yes, That Really Was Young Jon Hamm

1 Xanthippe Voorhees – Slytherin

If Draco Malfoy was a Manhattan trust fund baby, he’d be Xanthippe Voorhees. After the Reverend, she has proven to be Kimmy’s biggest antagonist. When Kimmy gets hired as Buckley’s nanny, Xan is on a one-woman mission to get the former Mole woman fired. All her schemes fail, which makes Xanthippe hate Kimmy even more.

Though popular in high school, Xanthippe doesn’t fit in in college and for the first time, her privilege works against her. Xan has to swallow her Slytherin pride and enlists Kimmy in winning over her new roommates. She later goes to Jacqueline—another woman Xan didn’t respect—for help during a pregnancy scare. Xanthippe definitely mellows out over the years, but one petulant eye roll leaves no doubt she’s in the right house.

NEXT: Grace And Frankie Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses


2019-04-17 03:04:30

Liz Hersey

Orange is the New Black Inmates Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

In prison, it matters who you roll with. Not only does your crew keep you safe, but they also keep you sane. In Orange Is the New Black, the inmates of Litchfield form authentic bonds with each other, some stronger than any they’ve had on the outside. These intricate families are sometimes harmonious, but sometimes they clash like stripes and polka dots. The cage is full, the cage is full…with big personalities.

In Harry Potter, the students of Hogwarts know a thing of two about makeshift families. Like Litchfield, first years are divided into one of four houses—Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff. Friendships are forged, romances bloom, and rivalries thrive. While nobody gets shivved, wands can be just as deadly. So what if the inmates of OITNB were transferred to Hogwarts? What house would each woman find herself in? Would the families be split up? Here are the Inmates of Orange is the New Black Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses.

10 Piper Chapman – Slytherin

Some prisoners smoke cigarettes, others smuggle in drugs, but Piper gets high on herself. She presents a mask of good intentions, but if anybody crosses her, Piper will show her true Slytherin snake skin. When Ruiz copied Piper’s panty-smuggling business, Piper devised a scheme to get her into trouble, resulting in Ruiz getting three to five years added to her sentence. This wasn’t Piper’s goal, but if she was capable of thinking about anyone else for a minute, she might have been able to foresee the consequences to her revenge plan. Like most Slytherins, Piper comes from privilege and deludes herself to the fact that Litchfield—and the world—doesn’t revolve around her.

Alas, Piper is hardly Lord Voldemort. She can be known to use her cunning for good. After Red starved her out of the kitchen, Piper found a way to make peace by giving Red a soothing lotion for her sore back. Yes, Piper was thinking of herself but her solution found a way to help Red as well. Though she may have layers, Piper is a pure-blooded Slytherin.

RELATED: Orange Is The New Black: 20 Things That Make No Sense About Piper

9 Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren – Hufflepuff

This former supermarket greeter has a smile and a bear hug for everyone she meets. What she lacks in personal space boundaries, Suzanne more than makes up for in Hufflepuff kindness. During Piper’s starvation, Suzanne gives her hot peppers in an effort to help her.

Suzanne possesses the classic Hufflepuff combination of loyalty and naïveté. This makes it easy for people to take advantage of her, like the ruthless Vee. She preyed upon Suzanne’s Hufflepuff values, maneuvering her into going after Vee’s enemies, like Poussey. However, while Suzanne may be easy to manipulate, she stands up for both herself and her friends. This is most dramatically illustrated when Suzanne felt spurned by Piper and responded by urinating in Piper’s cubicle. While Piper may no longer be “Dandelion”, Suzanne will always be a Hufflepuff—one not to be messed with.

RELATED: 5 Of The Best Relationships On Orange Is The New Black (And 5 Of The Worst)

8 Galina “Red” Reznikov – Slytherin

Most mama bears put their cubs before themselves. While Red fights tooth and nail for her “prison daughters”, she sees her matriarch role as a status symbol. She treats many of her family members like servants, getting them to rub her back or shave her legs. Slytherins care deeply about their appearance and Red’s kryptonite is her namesake hair dye.

Slytherins need a rival to beat and feel superior over. Draco Malfoy had Harry Potter. Red has had Pornstache, Vee, Piscatella, and Frieda, just to name a few. Her obsession with besting them has, at times, directly put her treasured family in danger. Slytherin Red always has to be at the top of the food chain, even if she’s there alone.

RELATED: MBTI® Of Orange Is The New Black Characters

7 Tasha “Taystee” Jefferson – Gryffindor

In Litchfield, Taystee brings the flavor. Her uproarious sense of humor breathes life into the prison and Taystee is well-liked. She’s also daring enough to speak up when others are too afraid, no matter how outrageous the request—like getting Fifty Shades of Grey in the library. As funny as she is, Taystee’s not just a clown; she knows how to be serious. She is the chosen negotiator during the prison riot. Like a true Gryffindor, Taystee is willing to put herself on the front lines of battle.

Unfortunately, Taystee also possesses a Gryffindor’s stubbornness. During the negotiation, she refuses to give an inch when Figureoa says all the demands will be met, with the exception of charging Bailey with Poussey’s murder. Taystee’s “daring, nerve, and chivalry” sets this Gryffindor apart.

RELATED: Orange Is The New Black: 10 Things That Need To Happen Before It Ends

6 Dayanara Diaz – Hufflepuff

Of all the inmates, nobody would benefit from a Hogwarts transfer more than Daya. She belongs in House Hufflepuff where kindness is embraced, not exploited. At Litchfield, inmates all but form a cue to take advantage of Daya, with her mother being first in line. Aleida dangles her affection just out of Daya’s reach, making her jump through hoops to get it.

Daya often gets swept up in schemes she has no desire to take part in, but doesn’t have the heart to say no. Most notably, this includes seducing creepy Pornstache in order to make him the fall guy for her pregnancy.

RELATED: 10 Plot Twists That Hurt Orange Is The New Black (And 10 That Saved It)

After getting a life sentence for killing CO Humphrey—another decision (somewhat) influenced by others—Daya becomes stone-cold and cutthroat. Not very Hufflepuffian, but this is the maximum security way and if anyone wants to be accepted, it’s Daya.

5 Gloria Mendoza – Ravenclaw

Like Red, Gloria is the matriarch of her prison family. However, that’s where their similarities end. Though Gloria can get crafty when she needs to, any sneakiness is deployed only for the sake of others. She displays a quick, Ravenclaw wit and expects her kids to as well. That goes for her prison daughters and her son on the outside.

Gloria’s toughness may border on harsh, but people are grateful to have her in their corner, even if it means the occasional verbal flogging. During the riot, when inmates were demanding Cheetos and tampons, Gloria was the one with the good sense to ask for amnesty. A hundred points for Ravenclaw!

RELATED: 20 Mistakes Fans Completely Missed In Orange Is The New Black

4 Lorna Morello Muccio – Hufflepuff

As Litchfield’s sweetheart, Lorna loves love. Whether it’s for her hubby Vinnie, occasional prison lover Nicky, or any of her prison sisters, Lorna showers them with affection and devotion. Piper noted that Lorna was the first person to be nice to her at Litchfield. Really, who else but a Hufflepuff would take care of prison rats?

Lorna can cross over from optimistic to delusional at the bat of a mascaraed eyelash. She doesn’t respond well when those delusions are shattered, as her ex-“fiancé”—they went on one date—can attest. Yes, the woman can make some supremely bad decisions. A prime example would be when she encouraged Suzanne to “be herself” by going off her medication. As ill-advised as this may be, everything Lorna does is in the name of Hufflepuff goodness.

RELATED: 14 Couples That Hurt Orange Is The New Black (8 That Saved It)

3 Tiffany “Pennsatucky” Doggett – Gryffindor

Though Pennsatucky has undergone one of the most dramatic characters shifts in the entire series, she has always remained a Gryffindor. She started off as a foul-mouthed religious fanatic who was as impulsive as she was dangerous. Offended by Piper’s rejection of her faith, Pennsatucky’s response is to attack her with a sharpened cross. This doesn’t go as planned and while Pennsatucky gets her teeth knocked out, she gets some sense knocked in.

Pennsatucky can still make the occasional terrible decision, like escaping prison with the evil CO Coates. But rashness aside, Pennsatucky never lost her sense of bravery. She worked up the courage to leave Coates and turn herself back in. That takes guts of Gryffindor steel.

RELATED: 11 Last-Minute Changes That Hurt Orange Is The New Black (And 9 That Saved It)

2 Alex Vause – Slytherin

When it comes to saving her own skin, cat-eyed Alex isn’t afraid to let the claws come out. This usually involves throwing someone under the bus. When she got busted for drug-running, Alex gave up every name she could, including Piper’s. Later in prison, Slytherin Alex managed to get Piper back under her thrall, only to rat their affair out to Piper’s fiancé Larry. Talk about using any means to achieve your ends.

While prison time can harden some, it softens Alex. She develops a conscience, showing real remorse after killing hitman Aydin in self defense. Her Slytherin romance with Piper even blossoms into something resembling functional. Piper becomes Alex’s top priority, but don’t be fooled. Alex still has her venom and will use it against anyone who threatens her woman.

RELATED: Orange Is The New Black: 20 Things That Make No Sense About Alex and Piper’s Relationship

1 Nicky Nichols – Gryffindor

Natasha Lyonne behind the scenes of Netflix’s “Orange is the New Black” Season 2. Photo credit: Ali Goldstein for Netflix.

As the Lothario of Litchfield, Nicky has had erotic encounters with many an inmate. Gryffindors are known for their hedonism and also their competitiveness. Nicky jumps at the chance to compete with Big Boo to see who can achieve the most sexual conquests. Though Nicky enjoys succumbing to lust whenever possible, she carries a real torch for Lorna and puts her first. It is a brave Gryffindor act to let go of the person you love. During the prison riot, Nicky encourages the pregnant Lorna to surrender to the SWAT team, unsure if they’ll ever be reunited.

Nicky is also a recovering heroin addict. Despite one setback, she has managed to stay sober throughout her entire prison sentence. This, combined with the love Nicky shows for her prison family, makes her a true Gryffindor hero.

NEXT: The Handmaid’s Tale Characters Sorted Into Hogwarts Houses


2019-04-16 03:04:45

Liz Hersey

Beverly Hills 90210 Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

On Beverly Hills 90210, the sun was always shining, the waves were always crashing, and the Peach Pit was always hopping. This teen-issues-drama turned nighttime-soap-opera offered viewers a glimpse into the window of young, affluent California life and became a staple of ’90s pop culture. Luke Perry’s tragic passing had a profound effect on fans of the show, who grew up watching Dylan McKay and his pals come of age, living in the world’s most famous zip code.

Right around when 90210 was ending, another pop culture phenomenon took flight: Harry Potter. Unlike the cliques of West Beverly High, those in the Potterverse weren’t determined by surfing abilities or net family income; they were determined by the Sorting Hat. This enchanted accessory delved into the depths of each student’s soul, assigning them a house – Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin – based on the student’s personality. If the 90210 gang was to hop across the pond, how would each member be sorted? Here are the Beverly Hills 90210 Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

8 Brenda Walsh – Gryffindor

Though Brenda starts off desperately wanting to fit into the Beverly Hills lifestyle, she is decidedly always her own person. Sometimes that person is brave and warm, like when Brenda volunteered at a rape crisis center. She was also welcoming to Andrea Zuckerman before any of her girlfriends. Other times, this aspiring actress brought the drama. When Dylan deigned to go out with Emily Valentine after Brenda broke up with him, she called Emily a vicious name in front of the whole school. Brenda wholly encapsulates what it means to be a Gryffindor, both good and bad. She’s an individualistic defender of the underdog, but will react with her heart before her head can catch up.

7 Brandon Walsh – Hufflepuff

Steve once said that Brandon “makes friends in [his] sleep”. Indeed, Brandon’s gregariousness makes people flock to him, whether at West Beverly High or in the Hufflepuff common room.

RELATED: 15 Secrets Behind 90210 You Had No Idea About

Most twins in Harry Potter find themselves in the same house, but while Brandon and Brenda consider themselves best friends, their personalities are night and day. Brandon is much more responsible and on occasion, has to reign in Brenda’s wild temperament. Understandably, this can lead to conflict as Brandon can feel more like a babysitter than a brother. Not that he would ever behave any different, because Hufflepuffs are famous for their patience and dependability. Whether you need to borrow Herbology notes or a designated driver, a Hufflepuff’s got your back.

6 Kelly Taylor – Slytherin

As high school queen bees go, Kelly really doesn’t have much of a stinger. She’s rich, beautiful, and loves her sunny SoCal life. What’s to be bitter about? However, when Kelly wants something – or someone – that she can’t have, that’s when the Slytherin venom comes out. She’s not unlike the seagulls in Finding Nemo -“Mine! Mine!”- as she secretly tried to nab a date with Dylan after Brenda started dating him. Later on, she and Dylan had a summer fling while Brenda was vacationing in Paris. Though Kelly expressed guilt uncharacteristic of a Slytherin, it didn’t stop her from going after what she wanted.

RELATED: Myers-Briggs® Personality Types Of Beverly Hills, 90210 Characters

Kelly can come across as shallow and arrogant, but this is her Beverly Hills armor. She’s survived many an ordeal, including a cult, a cocaine addiction, and a relationship with Steve Sanders. If anyone deserves a haughty Slytherin exterior, it’s Kelly Taylor.

5 Dylan McKay – Ravenclaw

By the time he was sixteen, Dylan McKay had lived more life than most people three times his age. A poor relationship with his parents forced Dylan to grow up early. As a result, he’s much more mature than many of his classmates. Though attractive and popular, Dylan is perfectly comfortable keeping his own company. A self-identified loner usually points to a Ravenclaw.

RELATED: Riverdale Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

Ravenclaws aren’t famous for their communication skills and when things get rough, Dylan has a tendency to put up barriers. He’s often compared to James Dean due to his angst and resemblance. This combination makes him irresistible to women who think they can fix him. But not Brenda nor Kelly nor anyone else can alter his Ravenclaw poet’s soul.

4 Andrea Zuckerman – Ravenclaw

Andrea Zuckerman wouldn’t just be sorted into Ravenclaw; she would be appointed Head Girl in her first year. Andrea is Hermione without the Gryffindor sense of rebellion. What sets Andrea apart from her classmates isn’t just her sky-high intelligence; she lives out of district, in a less affluent area of town. Andrea’s caginess on the subject, combined with her overall shyness, makes her come across as standoffish and superior. 

RELATED: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

Brandon helps to pry Andrea out of her Ravenclaw shell. This leads to her discovering that she’s not so different from her wealthy classmates after all. Andrea has the same adolescent anxieties as they do; she just expresses them with a richer vocabulary.

3 Steve Sanders – Slytherin

Steve has both money and insecurity to burn. He presents himself to the world as a privileged twit, especially in the early days. However, this persona is all a sleight of hand. Steve wants to distract people from realizing the truth – that he’s petrified of being disliked or abandoned by his friends. But like a true Slytherin, Steve would rather die than come clean about his feelings. He carried a torch for Kelly long after their breakup. Of course, he couldn’t bring himself to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her about it. Over time, Steve was able to let go of his too-cool-for-school ‘tude, proving that sometimes a Slytherin can shed its skin.

2 Donna Martin – Hufflepuff

Donna Martin graduates… from Hufflepuff House. Free-spirited and upbeat, Donna is the typical California girl. Though likable and popular, people tend to dismiss Donna as not having much substance. Hufflepuffs are forever underestimated and chronic people-pleasers. When Donna had low grades, she was terrified her friends would think she was dumb. It turned out that Donna had an undiagnosed learning disability and her friends were beyond supportive.

Donna’s winning Hufflepuff personality caught the attention of David Silver and even though he was a nerdy sophomore, Donna went out with him anyway because he was sweet. Hufflepuffs often make the best partners and the pair had one of the longest relationships of the entire series.

1 David Silver – Gryffindor

David starts off as a dorky freshman who desperately wants to be popular. Most kids with his social status would be nervous wallflowers. Not David. He put himself out there in outrageous ways no matter how many times he was rejected or made fun of. In high school, daring to expose yourself to ridicule takes the steely nerve of a Gryffindor.

Gryffindors can be impulsive and not always take time to think about the consequences of their actions. When Donna tells David she wants to remain a virgin for the foreseeable future, he cheats on her. He also develops a meth addiction while working at the college radio station. Gryffindors don’t always think, but when they get their act together, they’re a force to be reckoned with.

NEXT: 90210 Event Series Officially Announced By FOX


2019-04-16 03:04:19

Liz Hersey

Big Bang Theory Characters Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses

It’s time to bust out the comic books and Klingon Boggle because in the world of The Big Bang Theory, being a nerd is something to celebrate. The hit CBS sitcom, now in its final season, completely rewrote the narrative of geekdom, evolving it from a subculture into the mainstream. The show centers around the lives of four nerdy academics, and later their girlfriends. This group of friends has a lot in common with one another — most work in the scientific field and have earned their PhD. However, academic similarities aside, the Big Bang characters are distinctively unique in terms of their contrasting and, at times, clashing personalities.

RELATED: 25 Crazy Rules The Big Bang Theory Actors Have To Follow

Much of the Harry Potter series takes place at Hogwarts. All students possess magical powers, yet each individual has their own set of values, abilities, and flaws. What a fun experiment it would be if the Big Bang crew were to make the journey to Hogwarts. They would find that despite their shared love of physics and Star Trek, and would immediately be divided into one of Hogwarts’ houses — Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Slytherin.

10 Leonard Hofstadter – Hufflepuff

Anyone who can tolerate being Sheldon’s roommate has the patience of a saint. Or a Hufflepuff. Leonard catered to Sheldon’s demands for years, from chauffeuring him around to never watching his favorite show, Babylon 5, because Sheldon hates it. Hufflepuffs are sometimes known to be pushovers, and Leonard rarely stands up to Sheldon. He also showed his patience when it came to Penny. Leonard developed a mega-crush the moment he laid eyes on her and even when faced with overwhelming odds, he never gave up hope they would get together.

Of all his guy pals, Leonard is by far the most socially adept. Whereas Sheldon can be annoying, Howard obnoxious, and Raj terribly awkward, Leonard is easygoing and always pleasant to be around. He’d fit right in in the Hufflepuff common room.

9 Penny – Gryffindor

In her makeshift family, Penny is the black sheep. She doesn’t have any college degrees nor a comic book collection. It takes a certain level of Gryffindor nerve for Penny to remain in a group she doesn’t wholly fit into, casually deflecting cheap shots at her intelligence and inferences that she’s a dumb blonde.

While she may shrug off the occasional insult, when Penny really gets her buttons pushed… look out. Leonard even compared her temper to the Hulk’s. Penny is also one of the group’s bigger risk-takers. For a long time, she doggedly pursued a career as an actress and even quit her job as a waitress to further commit to acting. It takes the guts of a Gryffindor to star in a film titled Serial Ape-ist.

8 Sheldon Cooper – Ravenclaw

A high intelligence is a prerequisite for a Ravenclaw, so Sheldon fits rights it. He has an IQ of 187, a fact he’s only too eager to share. Sheldon earned his first PhD at the age of 16 and while that’s beyond impressive, blitzing through school didn’t help Sheldon with his social skills. His neediness and constant condescending makes people question why he has any friends at all.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory Season 7 May Have Teased Sheldon’s Ending

Being a certified genius is one thing; lording your intelligence over everyone else is another. Sheldon frequently belittles both Howard for not having a PhD and Penny, whom he perceives as dumb. Entry into the Ravenclaw common room requires a riddle as opposed to a password. It’s easy to picture Sheldon timing his fellow classmates on how long it takes them to answer the riddle and bragging about how he was faster.

7 Howard Wolowitz – Gryffindor

At the beginning of the series, none of the guys have had much success in the romance department, but that didn’t stop Howard from trying. His objectification of women was definitely cringeworthy and he should have been called to task more than he was. Still, underneath it all Howard meant well. He continually was rejected, which takes a certain amount of Gryffindor courage and in the end, it paid off when he married the love of his life, Bernadette.

Howard also showed bravery at his job. As an aerospace engineer, Howard had the opportunity for actual space travel. Howard was nervous about it, but nothing will stop a Gryffindor from going to outer space.

6 Rajesh “Raj” Koothrappali – Hufflepuff

For most Hufflepuffs, social interaction is as easy as pi. Not for Raj. For years he experienced selective mutism, only able to talk to women when drunk. His alcohol consumption, combined with his spoiled upbringing, could make Raj obnoxious to be around, but deep down he has an enormous Hufflepuff heart. He can show an incredible amount of empathy, like when he was on a date with Lucy, who also suffers from social anxiety.

Of all the houses, Hufflepuffs are the most malleable and when Raj found out Lucy thought he was feminine, he went over-the-top to prove his masculinity. Raj really seems to value his sense of belonging to the group and arranges fun activities for everyone, like murder mystery night or the legendary scavenger hunt.

5 Bernadette Rostenkowski – Slytherin

Bernadette may talk like Minnie Mouse and look like a Disney princess, but she has revealed herself to be a villain on more than one occasion. Slytherins are hyper-competitive and when it comes to games, Howard describes playing with Bernadette like being in a “steel cage with a wolverine”. When partnered with Leonard in the scavenger hunt, she berated him for his lack of focus and went so far as to concoct a bald-faced lie about Penny to get Leonard’s head back in the game.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory May Give Howard & Bernadette A FRIENDS Ending

As a microbiologist for a major pharmaceutical company, Bernadette is the breadwinner of her household and as a result, makes occasional emasculating comments to Howard. But Bernadette isn’t all viciousness and competition. She truly loves her husband and their two kids and cares about her friends.

4 Amy Farrah Fowler – Ravenclaw

Amy and Sheldon are the perfect match in many ways, particularly in their approach to interpersonal relationships. When they first met, Amy displayed the emotions of a robot and had a Luna Lovegood ability to point out “uncomfortable truths”. Eventually, Amy developed a warmer, more affectionate personality. However, she didn’t totally shed her Ravenclaw awkwardness.

Though she doesn’t brag about her braininess like Sheldon, Amy is quite intelligent. At Hogwarts, Amy would be a whiz at Potions, impressing even Severus Snape. Though she doesn’t share all of Sheldon’s pop culture passions, Amy is a fangirl in her own Ravenclaw right. She goes gaga for Chaucer and Little House on the Prairie and has even been known to write her own steamy Little House fan-fiction.

3 Stuart Bloom – Hufflepuff

Owning a comic book shop isn’t the most lucrative business. It’s really a labor of love for Stuart and labor he does, with a Hufflepuff-level work ethic. This leaves little time for a personal life and as a result, Stuart is often lonely. He frequently expresses a desire to be part of the group.

Of all the houses, Hufflepuffs possess the least amount of confidence, as demonstrated when Stuart expressed an attraction to Amy because she didn’t look at him with “hatred or contempt”. Their second and final date was interrupted by Sheldon asking Amy to be his girlfriend. Stuart still saw the rest of the date through and walked her home, ever the gentlemanly Hufflepuff.

2 Beverly Hofstadter – Slytherin

Beverly Hofstadter is an esteemed neuroscientist and psychiatrist who hasn’t allowed something as banal as motherhood to interfere with her career. When Leonard was growing up, she treated him as a science experiment. This may sound like the intellectual curiosity of a Ravenclaw, but Beverly has a mean, manipulative streak. She vocalized harsh but true observations about Penny’s relationship with her father, reducing Penny to tears. Beverly then preyed on Penny’s vulnerability so she could psychoanalyze her.

Beverly often expresses disappointment in Leonard for not achieving the same level of success as his siblings. In other words, she wants her children to be pure-blooded Slytherins, not mediocre Hufflepuffs.

1 Mary Cooper – Hufflepuff

The gang is always happy when Mary Cooper comes to town. She is so full of warmth and motherly love that Leonard in particular gravitates toward her, embracing the affection he never received from his own mother. Anyone whose dominant trait is kindness undoubtedly belongs in Hufflepuff House.

In addition to her big heart and home-cooking, the group is especially grateful for Mary’s skills as the “Sheldon whisperer”. Even if Sheldon is being more impossible than usual, Mary has the ability to reign him in. Sometimes a Hufflepuff death-stare can speak volumes over a Slytherin insult.

NEXT: The Big Bang Theory Should End With A Flashforward


2019-04-13 11:04:56

Liz Hersey